No Control

Chapter 5: "New Beginning"

Michael's POV:
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I was at the park. It reminded me of Violet. Violet, intense heavy-lidded dark green eyes, rosy-faced, full glossy red lips, golden-blonde straight hair that was always in french braids. I thought that her wearing french braids was funny because she was french. She died 4 years ago. I loved her. I'll admit it, I missed her, I missed her beautiful words and her pretty eyes. So many beautiful words and pretty eyes in the world. Thats why I fell in love with Adele. Violet died of suicide, another angel dead. Violet was sweet, but simply a badass and didn't listen to what others said, which I liked. I didn't get to tell her to love herself, I regret not telling her. They say that love sets you free, Violet let go and she set me free. I felt different around Violet, she was dark and imaginative. When she died, I felt nothing but emptiness. I wouldn't speak, wouldn't eat, wouldn't do anything.

I saw a rose, it looked like her lips. I miss you Violet. I gently picked it up, the petals glistening because of the bright sunlight pouring down on the earth. I used to think the world was cruel not because Violet died, but because a boy shouldn't be feeling empty. I wondered, is it true that if your missing someone, is it your heart telling you, that you love them? I thought so. It gets better, I know that now. I let go of the rose, bye Violet.Even though I loved Violet so much, I had to let go. "Everything happens for a reason", it sounds harsh to say but its true. Even though I loved Violet too much, too much to not let go. I knew I had to. I want to start a new beginning, a new chapter in my life. I wrote a letter before you died, Violet:

Dear Violet, they told me that a parachute would keep me from falling fast, but I noticed, I started falling, falling fast. Thats why my love for you was bliss, you kept me from falling even more. I saw trouble over there and I was over here trying to save you. I remember that morning when I woke up, you were in my arms. Your breath smelled like cigarets and you kept holding me tighter. "Love" made me do it, I fell for your eyes that sparkled so bright. I fell for the words you said, when you spoke, all I could hear was music. I fell for your lips because your lips were like wine, and I wanted to get drunk. Love made me do it. I guess I fell in love with you because there was dignity in our hearts, hopefully. You seemed dead, and I was just alive. Your lips were as cold as ice, but that didn't matter because I turned you human again. Maybe the words that we say hurt more than what we think. You knew that I was just dull in a world full of colors. Your heart fills with roots, and different structures, that make up you. Remember to love yourself. Love covers all the pain and baby, you cover all the pain. You deserve someone that makes your day brighter and you smile larger. I'm here for you, always. I'll ALWAYS be in love with you. Remember that.

I wanted to start my new chapter with Adele. I wanted a new beginning, I wanted to find someone who wouldn't leave me. Don't leave me Adele. I got up from the wooden bench and decided to text Adele.

Me: "Meet me at the park"
Adele: "Okay. For what?"
Me: "I have to tell you something"
Adele: "Okay"
Me: "Drive safe."
Adele: " I will "