Love Makes Us Blind

Darling don't be afraid

"Darling don't be afraid."

I hear him say in a gentle and careful voice. I want to trust him, but I know I can't.

His sweet words are just lies.

'You know this' I keep repeating to myself. Somehow... it only makes it worse. 'You can't love him, he's poison. He's making you feel worse, but dependent on him still.' I keep on saying. I know it, oh do I know it... 'So why does my heart still beat for him oh so? Why does it hurt so bad to be away from him when all I got was pain and misery? Why, oh why do I keep loving him?'

"We both know you can't keep away. So why do you keep on trying? It just means more people are dying. So why won't you just come out, and go home with me? That way we will all be free. Living long and happily. There's no need to flee."

His words are like sweet, sweet poisonous vine, meant to reassure me, to make me comply. But I won't fall for it again. No, I've put my trust in him one too many times, and I have finally accepted the truth and stopped listening to his lies.

It still hurts, but I learned to ignore the pain. Or at least, I learned how to fake it. So I stay quiet and still. I know he can see me, and I know he knows I see him too. But neither of us move, simply standing there and waiting for the other to do something.

He sighs and gives me an annoyed look, though I know that it would seem like a concerned one to anyone else. But not me. I know him good enough by now to know when he's faking it.

Of course I do, I have to. Otherwise I would be standing next to him now, believing every word that comes out of his mouth like his words were the Bible itself. But I'm not that lovesick little fool anymore. No, I finally know and accept the truth.

Though sometimes... I wish I was still that same lovesick fool, knowing hurt less back then. It was also easier to pretend. I didn't know the whole truth, I never saw all the bad things he did.

They do say love is blind.

I still love him, that's for sure. But I just can't pretend to be blind anymore. I can't ignore all the pain it bring me to see it happen day after day. It just keeps on hurting.

"No," I say, my voice trembling but strong. "I can't do it anymore! All those lies, all that pain... I just can't keep pretending I'm blind anymore!" I scream, tears falling freely from my eyes, "I... I'm sorry, I just can't do it anymore..." I say, my voice dead and broken.

"Then don't," he says in a whisper and I look at him in surprise. "You don't have to look at it anymore. Even though it would saddens me greatly that I won't be able to see those beautiful eyes of yours anymore." He's telling the truth. I can see it in his eyes.

I look at him in shock and fear, and perhaps there's some hope mixed somewhere in there as well. He takes a knife out of his pocket and gives it to me.

Suddenly it hits me. 'I could end all of it now...I could kill him and end my suffering, forever. But...' A deep sadness washes over me as I look at the blade in my hand. I feel conflicted, could I really do such a thing?

'No, I can't do that, I love him and he loves me!' I think as more and more tears gather in my eyes with every passing second. I hold the blade in front of my eyes, madness and love shining in them. I take one last look at him and do it. And even though I can no longer see it, I feel the happiness and pride practically shining off of him. Yes, this was the right choice.

I smile a gentle smile despite the pain I feel. Happy that I won't have to pretend to be blind anymore. For now I see no lies and speak only the truth that is given to me.

After all, a lie can't be a lie if I don't know it, can it?