Breaking through

   I wanna know what it  feels like the take away the pain not just for a moment but end it all. I guess that's suicidal but I promise I'm not, not even a bit. I just want the hurt to go away. I want to be happy to be able to love and to be loved fully. Not that fake love I keep giving. if I get to close  I pull away I am sorry but it's all I have ever know I just want you to know it probably isn't you I am just so use to getting hurt that I can't trust someone for too long. you might even understand the feeling or know what I am going through. Please just love me the best you can I am trying and working on the ratio of being perfect and being myself but it's hard. Maybe someday it might be possible but not yet . Someday just us we can love each other to fullest of our abilities as for today though our scars get in the way so I will just say I love you as much as I can. I stumble over the past think to much over the future and sadly pay less attention than I should to the present.  Brokenness tends to follow me wherever I go but you might end that rain storm and be the sunshine I need. Cloudy days have far to long succeeded over me someday I will choose to find the light Someday I will touch your soul with meaning and love Someday I will love you life and I. Someday might just be today.