"babe please?" I whine at my boyfriend, brandon, "fine, i don't give a fuck, just shut up!" he snaps back at me. Stephanie gives me a funny look "oh shut up" i scoffed "wheres the pooter?" she hands me the pipe as i sit on the motel bed. i sit there for a moment, staring at white crystals in the pipe. oh how i miss the taste, the feeling, everything about the meth. i have been clean for over a year now, I deserve it don't I? i hold the lighter to the bottom of the pipe until it starts to melt and steam, i hold it up to my mouth and inhale for what seems like forever. i automaticaly feel it hit my lungs, taking over my entire body. my heart starts to race, my mind goes silent for the first time in almost a year. i exhale and pass it to muhammud. brandon looks at me and shakes his head. "babe come smike a ciggarette with me?" i say to him. He gets up and walks towards the door reaching into his pocket for the pack of marlbro reds. when we get outside he lights one and hands it to me. we stand there silently for a few moments. "wtf was that?" he mumbled. "what?" i ask.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" he shouts at me.
"im sorry, i needed it. please dont yell."
"i thought we had a deal. you cant just go around doing whatever the fuck you want all the time!"
"you do, so why cant i? you dont even have a fucking job! your dad pays for you to live in a fucking motel you bum! i work my ass off all day just to pay for groceries and i come home to you screaming at me!"
he stood there silent, taking in what i said.
"im sorry babe, i.. i.. i didnt mean it, i love you, i know you are trying to find a job.. im sorry" i said to him as i toss my cigarette aside and step on it. i kiss him lightly on the lips and walk inside.
"well we are going to my pad," stephanie says to me as she stands up, "you wanna come boo?"
"sure" i reply, smiling weakly at her.
