We Will Dance

On the Road to Paris

I think about the lake. I found that lake months ago when Greer told me about an adventure one of her ladies had gone on with a customer there. I had taken Lola with me to see it. I remembered it because Lola had offhandedly mentioned that it'd be a good place for what she called "an adventure in love-making." I was so surprised by how causally she had said it, that I laughed for ages. This made her laugh and somehow we both ended up pushing each other into the lake.

That was what made me remember the lake as Francis and I rode past. So I shouted for the carriage to stop. We were on our way to Paris for an adventure in love, but I thought we should stop first for an adventure in love-making.

I should have said nothing. I should have let the carriage keep rolling. I should have settled for love in Paris instead of love-making in the lake and a loveless life.

If I had said nothing, Francis and I would be in Paris, dancing under the stars like he'd promised. If I had said nothing, we would be touring around France living like royals should: recklessly. If I had said nothing, we would be making love in a different chateau every night.

If I had said nothing, Francis would still be alive.

But I said, "stop," and now Francis is dead.

As much as I think about the lake, I think more about a life without the lake. In my daydreams, I ignore the lake and keep my head laid on Francis' shoulder. He strokes my hand with his thumb in the same pattern of an 'F' followed by and 'M.' We sit and say nothing for a while. I close my eyes and thank God for bringing him back to me every time I feel his chest move up and down with each breath.

As we pass a vacant farm, Francis stops stroking my hand and asks, "Would you trust me to do it?"

Confused, I sit up and look into his glorious eyes, "Do what?"

"Give an unknown price to save your life."

I smile and lean against the side of the carriage, "I trust that you would because I know that you love me, but I wouldn't trust you to because I know that you have much more to lose."

He watches the landscape pass by through the window as he contemplates this. "There is no one I would not sacrifice for you, and I would sacrifice you for no one," he turns his head to see me and takes my face in his hands. "Mary, I would give up my own life and my entire family's lives if it meant you would live."

"I don't believe you," I say with an unconvincing grin.

"Liar," he laughs before leaning forward and pressing his soft lips on mine. He glides gracefully down my cheek and onto my neck as I wrap my arms around him and feel his back curve towards me. He works his way back to my lips before breaking away and covering my shoulders with his heavy arms. I tangle my limbs around his torso and lay listening to the sound of his heartbeat and breathing. I close my eyes again and say another thankful prayer that he is here with me, and not in a casket.

Just as I said when he awoke in his chambers after dying in my arms, I whisper, "You came back to me," and fall asleep in his embrace.