I Saw Grayson Kissing Santa Claus

Jason's Plan

Oh this was just too good.

In all honesty, Jason had been pissed off as fuck when he'd first received the text from the Demon Brat. It was bad enough that Dickhead had somehow acquired his number — now he seemed intent to share it with the whole family (if he started getting calls from Bruce, asking him to come to the next Sunday brunch, the world would soon be hearing about the Wayne family massacre).

The brat's message — 'Rooftop meeting. In costume. Urgent.' — had been cryptic as fuck. Jason had fully intended to ignore it, but that annoying part of him that he wished he could stick a bullet in sometimes, was ever-so-slightly curious about his youngest brother's latest mess (he wasn't concerned though - nope. Not at all).

Of course, he'd been ready to punch the brat in his smug, miniature-Bruce-like face after spending close to an hour searching for the right rooftop when the bastard refused to give him an exact location — did he know how many bloody buildings there were in Gotham?! Obviously the little shit had forgotten that the Red Hood had guns, and lots of them — guns he was willing to use on smug, annoying little brothers.

But then the little shit had opened his mouth, and had said the best thing Jason had heard Roy's drunken "when I was younger, I wanted to be a professional ballet dancer" confession.

"Grayson is in danger from the man in the red suit!"

...Well, okay, that wasn't the amazing line that had Jason barely able to hold back hysterics. In fact, it had only added to his confusion, and his barely repressed urge to use the Demon Brat as target practice. But it had eventually led to the sheer brilliance that was the current situation, so Jason wasn't going to complain (or kill anyone...for now).

But, to put things simply, the lead up to Jason's current glee, and Damian's continued frustration and Santa-induced stress, had started with that simple, confusing-as-fuck line.

...

"The man in red?" Jason asked, incredulously. "Who the fuck are you talking about? Arsenal?"

Damian blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Or — Flash? Is it Flash?" Jason cocked his head to the side thoughtfully. There were a lot of superheroes that wore red — the ones he'd just mentioned, Red Robin...himself...

"Wait, you aren't talking about me are you?" Jason's eyes narrowed. "Because seriously, if you dragged me out here to tell me that — "

And then he stopped, because Damian looked close to having a heart attack. Seriously - the bug-eyed, chest-heaving look couldn't be good for a ten year old. He should maybe mention it to Dick — the kid was way too much like their old man for his own good...

"Harper...West..." Damian choked (the brat seemed to have forgotten the concept of secret identities). "They...they both have red hair."