If I love you

My friend Ella

  "Is he wierd? Do you ever catch him doing wierd things around the house?" 

"What? No no. Phil isn't wierd well okay he is really wierd but he's not a creep who does wierd things around the house. I'm sure you'll love him. He's funny so you guys will get along I know it."

"Okay. Well what are we waiting for let's go!" With yelling that Ella hooked our arms and we skipped to my flat. I opened the door and we seen Phil asleep on the floor. "Um I thought you said he isn't wierd?"

 "No I said he isn't a creep he is absolutely  wierd.  Phil phil wake up we have a guest here. Philip Lester up come on!" I said shaking him.

 "No Dan don't eat the hamster! Ahhh!" Phil said jolting up wide awake. He looked around him as if he didn't know why he was on the floor. "What? Dan what happened?"

 "Well I left to go and have brunch with my friend Ella and when we came back you were laying on the floor and eh  I tried waking you up you screamed 'no dan don't eat the hamster!' Were you reading the hat fic again?"

"Don't judge me Daniel! And what do you mean- woah who are you?" Phil said starring at Ella.

"I'm Ella Raine, Dan's bestfriend. I assume you are Philip?" She said blushing as he wouldn't look away from her. What was so special about her? I looked at her, okay she was pretty but she looks like every other girl. She wasn't special. Was I really bad mouthing my bestfriend because phil wouldn't stop looking at her? What the bloody hell is wrong with me?

 "Your assumption is correct. But call me Phil dear. " Phil said walking up to Ella and he hugged her. She seemed uncomfortable  but then hugged back. "Sorry I hug everyone." Phil said when  they pulled away. 

 "Well I let everyone hug me so I guess we have things I  common. Come on guys let's go to the cinemas! Please!!" Ella yelled. 

 "I'm up for it..  Dan are you joining us?" Phil said. They were getting me so annoyed talking all nice trying to seem all formal.

 "Bloody hell Phil and Ella! Can you talk normal please. Stop trying to impress each other!" I yelled and instantly  regretted it.

 "Well sorry Dan. Anyway do you want to go to the cinemas  or not?" Ella said looking annoyed. Well damn sorry sometimes she was so frustrating. 

 "No I'm staying. You guys go. I'm going to shower."  I said and watched then leave out the door. Ella hooked their arms together, they didn't look back at all. I waited at the door until I couldn't see them anymore and went to shower. Then I slept.

                     __________________________________________

 I woke up to laughing. The hell? It sounded like a dying animal. Oh I remember that laugh it's Ellas. 

 I lay my head back down and I tried to remember my dream. Phil was in it. In the dream I was a girl and phil was still a guy. We were married and I remember a little girl and a little boy they were about the same age. All of us had lived in a huge house and it seemed amazing. I remember how he had hugged me and then gave me a quick kiss.

   Even if I was a girl in my dream I love that dream. It felt so real. And I wish that it was real, not the part where I'm a girl but everything else. Where me and phil are happy together and we have a family. What the f***K is going on with me? Why am I not disgusted that I had that dream? Why am I disappointed  that it's just a dream? Why did I wake up smiling? Why was I heartbroken when the dream finished? Is it possible that I had all these feelings because I wanted phil? Because I was in love with him? Is that it? Am I gay? Am I falling for Phil? Have I already fell?  

 I am so confused. I  don't know what I feel. I need to talk to Ella. I got up from my bed and opened my room door. I didn't hear Ellas laughing so I wanted to see what happened. I slowly tip toed to the lounge. And I stood behind the door listening watching. Wow Dan now your stalking. 

 I looked and seen Phil and Ella on the couch. They just sat there and looked at each other. 

 "Ella you're really pretty and I've had such an amazing day with you. You're so funny my stomach hurts when I laugh at your jokes and your sarcastic  and your also caring... sorry I'm awkward.."

 "No no your not. Phil thankyou so much for everything you just said. But I need to ask you a question. Are you.. well um.. do you.. what I'm trying to say is are you.. gay?" Ella said looking down at the rug. 

 Phil looked taken back. But then he lifted Ellas chin up and made her look at him. "No" Phil said quietly and he put his lips to Ellas. 

  I couldn't look away. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. When I finally admitted to myself that I loved phil he was taken away by Ella. They were still kissing. It's been a  minute already. I was going to throw up. I couldn't take this any longer. I quickly ran to my room and shut the door quitely so they wouldn't hear me. 

 I threw myself on my bed and cried.