My Demons

Chapter Nineteen

Silas looked at Tess. The black dress wasn't the most flattering, but then again, it was a funeral,
"I hate this," Tess growled, looking at herself  in the mirror,
"Well if you like it, I think you might have a slight issue," Silas replied sarcastically. Tess turned around and gave him a sly smile, she had gained some of her old humor back. Silas watched her smile fade as she looked out the window,
"Silas, do you think I can do this?" Silas tried not to be annoyed at the question, Tess had lost a lot of self-confidence and needed a lot of reassurance. He got off of Tess's bed and straightened his tie. Wearing a suit was something he had never done, and it was a bit uncomfortable. Tess giggled, a very quiet one, yet noticeable,
"Let me help you," Walking over to Silas, she grabbed his tie and fixed it, making it look presentable,
"There, that's better," She looked up at Silas,
"Tess, you can do this," Silas said sternly. Tess smiled, but dropped her gaze to the floor,
"Tess, time to get going!" Her father shouted. Tess looked at Silas, fear flashing through her eyes,
"It will be okay," Silas reassured her. He laced his fingers through hers, something they had both taken as a gesture of comfort or a sign of fear. Tess smiled and unwound her fingers from his. She opened her bedroom door, taking a deep breath as she stepped out and Silas followed her. They all piled in the yellow truck that Silas had always watched from the sky. It almost seemed ironic, him sitting in it. Everyone was completely silent as they rode to the funeral home. Silas kept his attention focused on Tess out of the corner of his eye. He only wished he could take away her pain. Gabriel had never warned him of the heartache his humans pain would cause him. He had kept a close eye on Tess during the night, and she had woken up twice, with tears in her eyes. Silas watched the trees slow as Tess's father turned into the driveway of the funeral home. Tess's father hadn't said anything to him since yesterday, and Silas was glad. He didn't like being in the presence of a fallen angel, even if Christian had Gabriel's forgiveness. The truck stopped and Silas glanced at Tess. She was completely drawn within herself, her face expressionless. Silas touched her shoulder and she jumped. Silas's face melted into sympathy, knowing this was going to be a hard day. He got out of the truck slowly and looked around with a critical eye. He supposed he should be more mournful, more downcast, but even at a funeral he had to look out for Tess's safety. After deciding everything was alright, he focused on supporting Tess. She would no doubt be bombarded by classmates and sympathizers. He followed Tess as she made her way to Levi's mother. The two embraced and they both sobbed loudly. Silas watched them both. He knew Tess was in pain, but he couldn't even comprehend the pain Levi's mother was in. He saw Levi's father conversing with Tess's. Levi's father looked exactly like him, except that he had green eyes and brown hair. Tess had finished her conversation and was going over to the line to see Levi in his coffin. Silas sidled up to her. Tess glanced up at him, and he could see that her make-up was already smudged. He reached down and wiped the wayward mascara off her face. Tess gave him a questioning look and he showed her his thumb with the black mascara on it. Tess sighed,
"I must look like a train wreck."
"You're not too bad," Silas offered her his arm as they neared the coffin. Tess practically latched onto it, as they arrived at the coffin. Tess took a glance at the coffin, but hide her face in Silas's shoulder,
"I can't look at him, not like this," Silas looked at the dead body. Levi was dressed in a black suit and his grey eyes were hidden behind  closed eyelids. His mouth was closed and make-up was added to give his lips a more life-like color. His forehead was plastered with make-up as coroners had tried to hide the bullet wound to his head.
The bullet I put there. Silas thought solemnly. The thought made his stomach lurch sickly. He picked up his pace, taking an all too eager Tess with him. Silas let out a breath he didn't know he had held, as they distanced themselves from the coffin. Tess was sniffing, trying to keep herself composed,
"He didn't deserve this," She said quietly, as Silas led her to their seats. Her words only weighed Silas down more.
Could he have somehow saved Tess without killing Levi? The thought haunted him as Levi's mother and father stood up and began speaking about their son. Silas listened quietly as they described his childhood and what a great man he would've become. All to soon Levi's mother called Tess up to speak. Tess froze in place,
"Tess!" Silas whisper shouted. She looked at him, eyes wide,
"I can't do this," She shook her head, and her body shook,
"Yes you can," Silas gazed deep into her eyes, wishing her do to this. Tess swallowed and slowly stood up. It was eerily silent as she walked to the front of the room. Tess looked out at all the people in the room,
"Levi was the best friend anyone could ever hope for. No matter how many times I got us both into trouble, he still stayed by my side," There were a few small chuckles from both Levi's parents and Tess's as they recalled the memories,
"There are no words that could describe Levi, at least none that would do him justice. Over the years I had so grown close to him. I realized he was more than just a friend. Levi was peace, shelter, love, and many other attributes that credited him. Every day he would drive me home from school, just so I wouldn't be alone," Tess's voice began to strain,
"Levi taught me not to dwindle on things in the past or future, but to live in the now, in all its glory and even sadness. So I know if he were here right now he would be chastising all of us for crying over him," Tess sucked in a breath, she turned to Levi's coffin,
"So whether or not you like it, Levi, I'm going to cry for you. I'm going to cry for you because you were my closest friend in life and I will always love you," In that moment Silas figured out something else angels could do. Cry. He felt the tear drip down onto his cheek followed by another that fell down on the pants of his suit, making a dark black blot. He wiped the wet tear off his face, drawing in a deep breath. He felt guilty. He had taken away Tess's best friend, her love really. Now look where it had led. Silas wasn't sure whether he had done the right thing anymore. Tess was headed straight for their seats when Silas looked up again. Her head was bowed, but she couldn't hide the emotions on her face. Silas stood up and she collapsed into his embrace. She cried into his chest, wetting his shirt with countless amounts of tears. Silas wrapped his arms around her shoulders, drawing her close. He didn't know how long they stood like that, silently embracing each other, enveloped in a different sadness only they would know. Silas could smell Tess's shampoo as he laid his chin on her head,
"You ready to go to the graveside?" He asked quietly. Mostly everyone had left to join the parade to the graveside. Tess let go of Silas's midsection and wiped her face. Her make-up was smeared beyond repair, but she managed to wipe it off,
"Yea," She whispered in a hoarse voice. Silas led her over to her parents, who were patiently waiting. They all shuffled out to the ugly Chevy truck in silence. Silas watched Tess as she looked out her window, her eyes were glazed, as if the will to be alive had been taken from her. Silas was extremely bored, and wished the funeral would get over with already. Not that he was heartless, but angels had distant connections to things of the world, and funerals were something angels rarely went to. Plus he hated to see Tess engulfed in sorrow. The line finally pulled into the graveyard and Silas withheld a sigh of relief for Tess's sake. He jumped out of his side of the truck, and went over to Tess's side, opening her door. He offered his hand to help her down, and she didn't let go of it as they headed toward the spot marked for Levi's grave. Silas watched as they lowered the coffin into the grave. As they began to cover it up Tess looked away,
"I want to go home," She whispered. Her voice was shaking, and Silas could feel slight tremors from her body,
"Okay we can go," Silas told her. He was glad to leave, all the sadness was depressing. They walked over to her parents,
"Can we go home?" Tess asked her father,
"No, we can't leave now, and we have to go to Levi's house for the dinner afterward."
"Dad please," Tess begged, she was pale and her face contorted with mental torture. Silas knew she needed to get out of this place or she was likely to pass out,
"No," He father said firmly. Silas felt his patience reach a breaking point,
"She wants to go home and I'm taking her, with or without your consent," Silas challenged him. Christian features flared up in anger,
"What did you say to me?" He growled. Silas leaned forward,
"Give me the keys to the truck, Christian," Silas hissed. Tess and Eugene both looked horrified with Christian and Silas's behavior. Christian looked angrily into Silas's eyes, and Silas stared back. He braced himself for a fight,
"Christian," Eugene warned. Christian's gaze didn't break Silas's, but there was a rattle of keys and soon they were being shoved into Silas's chest. Silas took the keys wordlessly, and grabbed Tess's arm gently. Leading her to the truck, Silas had to keep himself from ripping the driver side door completely off the truck. Silas put the keys in and started the car. They were just outside of the graveyard before Tess spoke,
"You shouldn't test my dad like that," Her voice seemed so small. Silas hadn't driven a vehicle in a while so he kept his eyes on the road,
"What do you mean Tess? You were about to have a panic attack and he wasn't going to let you leave."
"I know, but still, you guys just need to get over yourselves," Silas rolled his eyes,
"You're really going to take his side?" He scoffed, bouncing his fingertips on the steering wheel. Tess didn't answer him, and he glanced over at her. Her head was laid up against the window and she looked like she was asleep. Silas couldn't help but smile. She must have been completely worn out.
Guard your heart Silas, for it can be deceitful. Gabriel's words echoed in his mind. Silas shook his head. He hadn't realized that his eyes had ventured to Tess's lips and he wanted their touch. He refocused on the road, that should be the least of his thoughts, especially today. Silas was becoming afraid of the closeness that had bloomed between he and Tess so suddenly. It could be his destruction.