How the Signs Kill People

5.2K 200 191
                                    

Aries: "accidentally" hits them with nuke

Taurus: throws them in cannon and shoots them to other side of the world

Gemini: stabs the hoe, scratch that, take the hoe to lunch and I'll poison the food

Cancer: strangles them with condom

Leo: high fives them and has a shock button on them and electrocutes the hoe

Virgo: posses them with Satan and they jump off a cliff bc of Satan

Libra: does dance around them and a fire starts on them

Scorpio: twerks on them so badly they suffocate

Sagittarius: brings them back in time to Salem witch trials and accuses them of being a witch

Capricorn: shoots glitter bazooka at house

Aquarius: they just "disappear" is how Aquarius puts it

Pisces: beats the shit out of them with fridge

Not meant to offend anyone.

Zodiac SignsWhere stories live. Discover now