Find Your Way Back Home (songfic)

In the Beginning

"There used to be a time

You're the only one that you could see"

He looked in the mirror and glared at himself. After being alone for the past few sweeps, he didn't know what was standard weight for someone his size. He didn't know a lot about other trolls at all, because they all insulted him and shut him out.

"You built a wall to keep you free

You saw it all so perfectly"

That's why he would return the offer. Moiraillegence was a lost cause. He would just turn away from his fuschia goddess, never even speaking a word to her sometimes. Nothing had a point. Other trolls didn't have a point. And it was good to be alone.

"You divided everything you had

Into a thousand paths with names

Made it easier to place the blame

But it never really was the same"

After that, everything had an excuse. Depressed? Probably because of those damned landwellers on his damn beach and calling him a douche for telling them off. Hungry? The only thing he had in his fridge was expired Faygo. Lonely? That beautiful Feferi who turned him away.

The only thing he couldn't explain was the discomfort of it.

"But you forgot the reason why

You had to be alone to breathe

Something from your history

Or have you lost your memory?"

Sweeps later, he was slaughtering the white angelic devils one-by-one, but they dropped like dominoes, one after another. They were so easy to kill; so weak. This land was his loneliness. Even if there were other souls around, giving the attention he craved, he swept them aside just like they had to him. Revenge, he called it.

In this state, murdering on this infested planet, he forgot everything behind him. As every memory of the torment he's suffered passed, a tear slipped down for each of them and he began to kill more violently, thrashing his wand in every direction.

"Now it seems your baggage

Is the only thing that you can bring"

Everything was so much different on the meteor. Every troll who avoided and demurred him was sitting within feet around him.

But it wasn't that different. He still heard their snickers and their harsh words.

Hive, sweet hive.

"You had a lie for everything

And now your world is crumbling"

Her blood is spilling because of him. Her death is on his head. The princess is dead.

But she'll be fine.

She'll be fine, he tells himself as he saunters away, frighteningly nonchalant with a scowl carved in his face.

"So now you find you're on your own

You find you're on your own"

No one was on his side.

No moirails. No matesprits. Even no kismesises, despicable as he was.

All he ever wanted was someone to listen.

But they had been there all along. And he killed them. His narrowed eyes softened as he looked down at who he was. Fuschia blood splayed across his sweatshirt. His cape was missing. Muddy yellow flashing in his brain. What had he been doing?