The Science of Starting Again//Book Five

Chapter 9~ Going to the Chapel

Third Person P.O.V

Although her mind was still broken and filled with terrors, her body no longer mirrored it. It was true that scars still covered parts of her but in the dusty light blue dress you could barely see them. Three quarter length sleeves hid the bumpy scar on her upper arm as well as the four year old bullet scar on her shoulder. The dress clung to the upper part of her body, lace details covering it before the light material fell from her waist and down to her ankles like a waterfall. Her hair- finally tamed after years of disorder- was pinned back in loose curls, a scattering of blue flowers pinned here and there. Her face was made up too, something that had taken her a few tries to finally get right (it had been years since she had applied make-up). With the new outfit, tidy hair, and fresh face Teddy Holmes almost looked normal. Almost. The only thing that gave her away was her eyes. They were still wary, still sad, still filled with fear and guilt. Although she had started going to a therapist she knew it would take longer than two weeks for all her troubles to disappear.

I'm sure it would be easier if I had a drink, Teddy thought, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She chuckled dryly. She wished. However, she had made a promise to Greg- and to Mycroft- that she would not touch the stuff for at least a year. Mycroft wanted her to swear off the alcohol forever, but Teddy highly doubted that was going to happen.

"I'll stop drinking until my head is settled," she had told him. Didn't matter how long it took. Even if she had to go over her one year mark, she'd do it. Although she had to admit two weeks without a drop of liquor was hard enough. She didn't know if she'd be able to last a year.

And I'm going to a wedding tonight with a free bar, she thought with a groan. Before she could start moaning about that in her head there was a knock on her door and a cheerful voice saying good-morning.

"Oh, Teddy, you look lovely!" Mrs Hudson beamed, walking into the younger woman's flat. Teddy smiled, staring at herself once more before turning to look at her landlady.

"As do you, Mrs Hudson," she replied. "Where'd you get the hat from?"

"Oh, just a little shop a few blocks over," she replied with a smile, patting the item on her head fondly. The corners of Teddy's lips quirked up in a quick smile before she turned, scanning the area for her shoes.

"Now, are you sure you don't wish to come with Molly, Tom, Greg and I? There's always room for one more, you know," Mrs Hudson said as Teddy began searching.

"Um, no thanks Mrs Hudson. I can find my own way there," she replied from the floor, searching underneath the sofa with narrowed eyes. She heard Mrs Hudson chuckle and felt the woman's footsteps come towards her.

"Looking for these, dear?" She asked, handing over Teddy's white heels. With a grateful smile Teddy accepted them, sitting down and putting them on.

"Thanks, Mrs H," she said as the older woman began making her way out of the flat.

"That's alright, my dear. I'll see you at the church, then!"

"Bye!"

When Mrs Hudson was gone Teddy grabbed a small clutch and put a few essentials inside before leaving her flat and heading upstairs to 221b. Although Sherlock had left hours earlier she knew that Dmitri was hiding up there, and low-and-behold he was, curled up on Sherlock's sofa and sleeping the morning away. She sighed, watching the cat with jealousy.

"That's tempting," she muttered. "Very tempting, Dmitri. Just stay home and sleep? Yes please."

She scowled, a stabbing sense of loneliness taking hold. The wedding. The wedding. John and Mary's wedding, to be exact. She hadn't seen the pair much this week as they had been kept busy by last minute plans and arrangements. However, she had heard them come and go through the building. She never bothered to go and see them. She knew it wasn't right of her to just blatantly avoid them like this but she couldn't help it. Seeing them separate was better than seeing them together. It wasn't like she was jealous of Mary (she wasn't), it was just that their relationship reminded her of how alone she was. It didn't matter that she had good friends who were helping her out with her problems. They were great. It was just that Teddy yearned for something more. At times she would catch herself thinking about the man from America, debating on whether or not she should leave London and go back to him. However, deep down she knew it wasn't right. She couldn't go back there and there was no chance that he would leave the USA. He had stuff to do. And anyway, he was far too pure for her. She was a wreak, there was no need to bring him into her pity party.