Coming in Between Love

Bad Choice

Kens Point of View
" Vickie it all started back when I was 16. My parents were always on my case about everything and I knew if I didn't find a way out, I was going to lose it. So, after school, instead of coming straight home I would go hang with my "friends". They were basically a bunch of drug dealers and I was their little errand boy. They promised to keep me safe as long as I did what they asked. Everything was fine for about a month. Until one day, I was told to meet them at the usual spot. You sure you want me to go on? It might change your opinion about me? And I don't want anything to change between us."
" Ken, I walked into this relationship knowing you had a past. But when the past comes to me for answers, it's time for me to know."
" Babe you think I don't know that? You think that I don't want to tell you everything? I'm trying to protect you. I know you're probably thinking that you can handle yourself, but you don't know these guys."
" Im tired of not knowing. If I wanted your protection I would've asked for it. Better yet, I would never have agreed to be your girlfriend. "
I can tell she's trying not to get pissed off, but I'm already pissed off. She said she wouldn't be with me. True, she did say that she only would've did that if she was scared of my past but still. What if I tell her, and then she becomes scared? I can't lose her. Not an option. Not unless I end first.
" Vickie, trust me, you don't want to know. I've already told you enough."
" ENOUGH!!!"
Dang it! I pissed her off.
" You haven't told me anything!! If you want me to trust you, you need to stop keeping secrets from me. We've been dating for six months...." I cut her off and say, " Yea we have and I would love to make it to seven if you would just quit overreacting."
She's on her feet and standing in my face now. My first thought is to let her feel like she won the battle, but I ignore that and go with option two.
" Vickie I swear if you say one more word about this I'll end this conversation and us!"
I regret the word as soon as I have said them.
" You know what!! Fuck you bitch! I don't even know why I put up with you. I guess part of me thought that we could actually work through this. Forgive me for being stupid enough to have faith in your ungrateful ass. End us!! I was the only one fully committed anyway. I'm the only one that got hurt. I'm the only one that apparently loved us. You want out? So do I. Take me home now!!"
I stared at her. Dumbfounded and at a complete lost for words. I know, God deep down do I know, that I need to fix this. I need to tell her that I was just letting of steam and was extremely careless about what I was saying. But I don't. Instead I grab my keys and we both walk out the door in silence. The drive back couldn't have been more terrible than the first drive tonight. At least I knew that we were going to talk again. Now, I don't even know when we will talk again. I pull up to her house and I make an attempt to say something. Vickie is too busy getting out the car to notice. She slams the car door and rushes up to her front door.  Before I can stop myself I call out," Vickie!! I know I've said it a thousand times. But I mean it. One day, I will tell you everything. Don't lose faith in me babe. I love you too much to let you go without you knowing that."
Vickie doesn't respond. She just cries. I can see her feet shifting around to determine whether or not she should turn around. She decides on going inside. I cry for what feels like hours before I pull out of her driveway, and go back home.