"Mom, mom run..."I hear a hoarse voice call out. Was that me? Mom is screaming... laying her body over mine, sobbing.
"Mom?" The curve of her nose brushed the curve of my cheek. It hurts. Everything hurts.
"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry..." Her tears fall like rain, hitting my skin like prickling kisses, that her kisses sooth. I can't see anymore... They follow me through the dark...
I woke with a start, face down in my pillow, temples pounding, and heart slamming against my ribcage. I struggled to swallow, palming the sweat from my face. The sun was edging its way up on the horizon, setting the sky aflame. I closed my eyes against the light, taking in deep breaths.
I hadn't had that dream in a long while. Apart of me felt like I'd finally cleansed it from my mind, locked it away with all the memories... but I was wrong. Even from the grave my father was haunting me.
He broke me. Physically, mentally, emotionally... and those emotional scares could and would not heal like a cut a scrape or a fracture. Those had all faded with time, the marks disappearing. The rest had sunk beneath the skin, right below the surface until I'd finally forced them to the blackness at the back of my thoughts. Every now and again the darkness wasn't thick enough to keep it at bay, and it bubbled up, over into my dreams.
I tried to steady my breathing and drift back into nothingness, but with my eyes shut I could feel the nightmare creeping up on me again.
His eyes crazed, unfocused...swimming with rage...the blood spattered belt...my pulse quickening...Mollie's eyes...Mom's cuts, her screaming...
My eyes snapped open. I couldn't take it. I had to get out; the darkness in my room was smothering me. Turning on my side, I glanced at the clock. The flashing red numbers read 5:20.
Pulling on a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt, I made my way from my room, around the corner, and down the stairs.
Once I was outside, I took off running. With my sneakers pounding the pavement I focused on the rhythm of my arms pumping, my breathing as it hissed in my throat.
I didn't know how long I'd been running. I didn't know where I was going, I just knew I couldn't stop. I tried to slow down, but the speed I was going, gravity, and a crack in the sidewalk, sent me tumbling forward.
My cheek brushed the ash-fault before I turned over fully, landing on my back and facing the sky, the breath immediately knocked from my lungs. I lay there stunned and dazed, gazing absentmindedly at a passing cloud in the sky. That's when I realized how exhausted I was. That's when I realized how frazzled I'd been, because right then I was completely still.
"Cole?"
My name came from nowhere, but seemingly everywhere. I heard running footsteps echoing towards me, and then Kaye was kneeling beside me.
"Are you ok?" she looked somewhere between concerned and apprehensive.
I closed my eyes. I wanted to melt into the ground and disappear. Why her of all people? I knew it wasn't fair to think that... but the stillness that had swathed me moments ago was receding and I desperately wanted it back. Kaye made me feel hyper aware, hyper active, like energy was buzzing in my pores.
"Cole, can you hear me? Are you ok?" she questioned again.
"Should I call someone to take you home?"
"No, " I croaked.
"No...I'm OK." I couldn't tell her my pride was hurt more than anything else.
YOU ARE READING
Just Bent
Novela Juvenil"Something so completely beautiful shouldn't hurt you so completely. Sometimes it just does. I met her when my life was falling apart. She was falling apart too, but she picked up my pieces instead. Being good with words helps. Being bad with feelin...
