A Soulmate Story A Day

10 ~ Who Dares Wins

The fingers with feather like touch, stroking through my hair. The last remnants of her kiss being dispersed by the tears rolling down my cheek. The essence of her soul ripped away from mine. Her softly spoken, yet somehow still cruel taunt, engrained into my mind.

Come and find me.

She knows I can't. She knows I can never find her. She knows if I could, I would, but I can't, so that's just how it has to be. She knows she's gone where she can't be found.

Come on.

Her beautiful face, with startling blue eyes that in the floaty image don't do her real self justice, starring at me, inches away from my face. I could almost taste her breath. Smell her hair. Kiss her lips. One last time. Then she was going, going, gone.

Don't you want to be with me?

'Of course I do', is what I desperately want to yell at her. But I can't. My lips are cracked, my throat is sore and burning from all the screaming I've done to get her to hear me. If I'm loud enough she hears me and can't help but comfort me. She's wonderful like that.

Shut up you tease. See you tomorrow.

The last few words she said to me. Then she was off in a whirlwind with a quick peck on my cheek as she flew out the door. She was an ever buzzing life energy. A tornado of a person. She was an enigma. She was gone.

~*~

I woke up with a start. I always do. A thin sheen of sweat glazing my body and the shakes of an earthquake running through me. Silent sobs wracked through my throat.

I can't keep doing this.

Rolling out of my entanglement of sheets my feet fell to the floor with a thud. The cold floor was real. This was what was real. This cold, hard floor and those messed up, sweaty sheets. This was real. Not her. She was not real.

Not real.

I repeated this to myself like a mantra as I watched the face in the clinical bathroom mirror, mimic my actions perfectly. A full bottle, of pills just in the corner of my eye. It was a growing collection of sorts, an array of different coloured beads.

But it's real to me.

I could see the outline of her figure behind my reflection. She wasn't facing me. She never was. Her facial features had long since become distorted. Even though I continuously studied photos of her through night and day.

Not videos though. Videos are too real. Videos would lead me to believe she was real. Videos can't be watched.

Dream sharing was a special thing shared only between soulmates. You'd meet your date then-granted it was a good date-you'd go hope and hope that person would meet you in your dreams. Eventually you'd get bored of the taste of bitter disappointment, instead indulging in the taste of burning alcohol flowing through your throat.

Apparently.

I'd never had this problem.

Lucky sod.

I met Jess when I was 15. Which was very early compared to most. Grimly, I always just thought it meant that I had the potential to lose her very early as well; which I did. She died when I was 24. The estimated life expectancy is around 80. That means around 56 years alone. With no other chance of finding 'the one' again.

Unlucky sod.

I heard her voice in my head. Teasing, relentless, persistent yet somehow still kind. How could her voice still be kind.

It's nice to know you think of me so highly that my voice being 'kind' surprises you.

She was the Queen of comebacks. I guess it just came with growing up at our state school where the motto was literally, 'Banter or die.'

I wish you were here to say that to me in person.

It's strange though. Sometimes the voice inside my head is my own, sometimes its her's, sometimes it's an old English philosopher's providing little glimpses of wisdom, sometimes it's a strangers, sometimes it's just silence.

I wish you'd stop blaming me and get off your lazy arse. Come find me instead.

A demand rather than a question. One pathway rather than a choice. One certain destination, pre-planned and booked.

Come on, do it.

I wasn't sure who's voice it was. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

Who dares wins.

A/N: Okay so there we have it; number ten. I'm going to mark this as complete but I may come back and add more stories if I feel like it.

Hope you enjoyed this random array of stories on soulmates, so anywayyy...

Laterz

-TheLoneAlbatross