Hush

Chapter seven

It takes years to build a routine to establish a sense of normality and order in ones life and only minuets to completely rip it apart. It took centuries to create what we call the Judicial court to enforce that justice was served and right prevailed, but here I am, Dead. And somewhere It still lives somewhere when I am awake tossing and fleeing in and out of night terrors that fill the hallow shell where Levi Dune once lived. It is, still as a mountain, gently as a stream sleeping. And while I am awaking screaming the echo of the scream That filled the air the last time I saw It's face. Somewhere at the edge of a city somewhere in the Shadows of forbidden deeds, It is laughing.

Tell me; where is the justice in that? Someone, anyone point it  out to me.

I lifted my head from the couch cushion where I had buried it in distress, and rubbed my eyes. I was tired, even though I hadn't realy done anything. I was tired of lying there numb, unfeeling sarcastically narrating day to day events in my mind (as funny as I am). I was tired of refusing to feel anything but fear and disgust with the world; The world that was far from perfect, that would never be perfect, but was trying so hard. I was tired of existing without feeling without thought, not alive, Just waiting to die.

As these thoughts coursed through my mind awakening the will to live awakening a glimmer of hope like gold in a coal mine, I braced myself to stand, to do something, anything! I Pulled the throw back over my head and held it there lying my head on the pillow again. Maybe tomorrow. 

The door groans while the doorknob turns and an exited joyous Sophia with a polar bear doll in one hand skipped through the door. Sugar must have been the only thing keeping her awake her eyes were tired on the brink of closing but she was bouncing of the walls. I lifted the blanket to peek out, And glared at her, in guilt, envy. No one was planning to get rid of her no one was pestering her day after day to be someone she could no longer be. Mom stumbled in the door caring an awkwardly shaped bag and set it down on the floor

"Levi" she said, eying the couch

"is that you?" I rolled my eyes. No, an anonymous lump seems to have magicaly apeared and burowed its way into your sofa, of course its me. I threw the blanket off my head and looked at her like a wounded animal crouching in the entrance of its den daring her to approach me.

"Help me with theses bags" she continued nonchalantly, as if I had not just done so.

I nodded and stood. Taking both bags from her hands and taking them to the kitchen. While she called Mark on his phone to find out where he was. I returned to throw my self back on the couch and have Sophia jump on my lap.

"There was a tiger and I rode the camel seals don't like clouds and balloons and monkeys dancing, penguins"  She took a deep breath and finished her nonsensical ramblings and Whispered " I love the zoo, leaning her head on me and finally closing her eyes still mumbling softly, as if her brain was trying to process her whole day at the same time. Her inaudible mutterings became  deep breaths and quiet snores as she fell asleep.

I hadn't noticed Dad come in He walked into the living room holding the scraps of an admission form in his frustrated grip. I could not help but smile in spite of myself.

He had spent so much time trying to be a good role model for her, trying to be the one she ran to when she was scared, trying to be the one she choose to love the best and I had spent no time tying to be a good brother to her, at all. Yet he stood there looking on the outside in becuase she had chosen to come to me, After all he had done she still insisted through her actions that she loved me best. I enjoyed the defeated expression that melted the triumph on his face it was cruel yes, childish maybe, wrong, perhaps. Sick to derive pleasure from the pain of someone else, but I liked it. Surely he had been prepared to take her upstairs and tuck her in and have her say " I love you" as she should being his daughter, but that daughter that innocent baby had come to that freak who belonged in a mental Asylum and treated him like he was the best brother in the world.

Tell me; where is the justice in that? Someone, anyone point it  out to me.