Lola's POV
I woke up the next morning in a daze. My head hurt, & the sun that was shining through my window burned my eyes more than it should.
For some reason, I can't get last night out of my head. I remember it all so clearly.. I was gonna get sick, so I ran into a bedroom, searching for a bathroom.. & that's when I saw him.. & her. I don't know why I had to see that, but I did. & let me tell you, it hurt.
Tears began falling down my cheeks as I got up & ran to the bathroom. This time I actually got sick, & not because of the alcohol. I got sick over the fact that the one boy I've ever had feelings for, really didn't want me. I was the definition of a wreck.
"Lola, are you okay?" I heard Gaby softly whisper.
"Yeah, I'm fine.. Just a little sick. What are you doing here?"
"Well Paxton called me last night after what happened.. She needed me here to help take care of you, you were completely blacked out & she didn't know what to do.."
She trailed off mid-sentence when she saw the tears fall out of my eyes yet again.
"Gaby, wh-what happened? La-last night, I mean.. After y-ya know?" I was now uncontrollably sobbing, choking out as few words as possible.
"Well.. Pax & Hayes had a pretty big fight, & some things were said. I was in the room with you for most of it, but she wouldn't stop saying "how could you do this to her?" "you were so close".. I don't know what that all means, but I'm sure you do.. don't you?"
I shook my head & looked down.. I needed sleep.
I got my happy ass up off of the bathroom floor & went back into bed. Paxton was still sleeping, so I decided not to wake her, & Gaby left.. I'm sure she'd be back later.. I was left in my thoughts as I drifted to sleep, again.
***
I woke up for the second time today to find that it was 3:00 in the afternoon. I got up out of bed & walked into the kitchen. A note caught my eye.. It said-
"Lols,
We went out to run some errands & have a quick lunch (we didn't want to wake you). We'll be back at around 4ish-5ish.. We love you!
-Cookie"
I smiled & went into the fridge to grab a water. On the way back to my room, something that I didn't expect to happen, happened.. I ran into the one & only Hayes..
My water fell out of my hand as I stood there, like a complete idiot..
"H-hey" he said. "How are you?"
How am I? Really. How am I? What the fuck kind of question is that?!?.. My blood was boiling.
I quickly remembered that I wasn't actually in his "sights" & calmed a bit.. But still, it hurt that he even asked me a question like that knowing what happened last night.
"I'm okay, a little tired.. But, okay" I forced a smile.
"Okay, good. & Hey, look.. I'm sorry about last night. I, uh, I never meant for you to walk in on that. I know you have a little crush on me & it sucks that you had to see that going on.."
I stood there for a second to recollect my thoughts. When I caught my breath & realized what he said to me, a single tear fell down my face. He just described the feelings that I've had to hide from everyone for the last forever as a "little crush". He completely humiliated me. Completely.
If this were some "little crush", I wouldn't have cried more than I ever have in my whole damn life over him. Over a course of 2 days!!
I stared him right in the eye before saying, "Look, it did suck to have to walk into that.. But I want you to know one thing, what I have for you is not a "little crush".. It's legitimate feelings, hell, maybe even love. Now, I know this doesn't mean shit to you, but I like you.. a lot.. & I have liked you! For you to say some shit like that to me, & for you to refer to my feelings as a "little crush" is fucking bullshit.". & with that I walked away.
Luckily, Gaby & Paxton came home soon after that & brought me food.
The little time I had between then & them coming home was spent cleaning myself up & making it look like nothing had ever happened. Thank God it worked.
The girls didn't take a second glance as they came & laid down in my room to watch movies.
About 10:00 that night I decided to do something I never thought I'd do.. I decided to take pills.
I've always had a past with "drugs", but I've never done anything other than weed. & I guess now I was gonna try it. I mean, I know it's not the most logical thing to do, but I have a lot of shit going on & I hurt.. I just wanted to sleep all of it away.
I got up & left a sleeping Gaby & Paxton on the bed. I walked into the bathroom & found the sleeping pills I took from my mom a while back..
I didn't count them as I swallowed.. I couldn't believe that I was doing something so stupid..
I walked out of the bathroom thinking to myself that what I just did was not near as dramatic as they make it out to be in the movies..
Cuddled up in bed with Gaby & Pax, I slowly drifted in & out of sleep.. That is until something happened that I could not, for the life of me, control.. It was the one thing I never expected..
I ODed.. The numbing sensation took over my body as I lost control. The last thing I heard was my name being called out.. & even that sounded distant.
