Ever Since That Day

Chapter Three

"People cry
not because they are weak .
It is because they have been
strong for too long. "

- Johnny Depp

***

Two days before the first day of my last year in Junior high, and this year, i'm turning 18. I didn't grow taller or even have curves in my body. It's still the same old me.

It's 7 o'clock in the morning, the best time to walk my dog today at the park. I smell the bacons and egg dad made. Delicious!

I grabbed a sandwich and told him that i'm going to take Jasper for a walk. As i get out of the door, i saw Kurt fixing their yard like planting another shrub there. I can see that Kurt noticed me because he removes the gloves from his hands and put down the small kind of shovel. He's walking towards me so i started to walk my dog , ignoring him again.

"Heyy! " he says as he walk by my side. He's wiping the sweat all over his body. And it's so uncomfortable right now.

Jasper stopped for a moment and Kurt even cuddled him. Kurt knows Jasper for a long time since he's a pup. I even doubted my dog's loyalty back then because he obeys Kurt more than me.

"Jasper, let's go. " i looked at my dog and he's still enjoying Kurt's presence.

"Can you please stop that. I'm walking him you know, and you should continue your business in your yard."

"Jasper's enjoying it. You know that we're still close right? And i'm going with you. "

"What do you mean 'i'm going with you' ? " this is so irritating.

"I'm also walking Jasper. " he shrugged and get Jasper from me. But i resist. It's my dog.

"Sai, let me take care of him, we haven't played for a long time. " whatever. I just let him walk my dog.

He got Jasper from me and really played with him. My dog seems to enjoy it so much. I remember when Jasper was a pup, he's very weak. He lacks mother's milk so he's not-so-healthy but Kurt fed him with some medications for a pup and took care of him so now, Jasper is healthy and he really likes Kurt.

We're now heading to a convenience store near the gas station and i decided to buy a strawberry ice cream for me and Jasper.

Kurt stopped and followed me. I'm not planning to buy him so he was taken back when i gave the small ice cream to my dog.

"You're so cold like your ice cream. " and he buys his own.

"My plan today is to spend time with my dog so i only spend my money.." he then finishes my sentence, " for your dog, i get it. "

The weather is very hot and this whole thing seems to be awkward for me or some kind of a very inconvenient situation. I mean, who would like to spend your day , clearly, the 2 weeks of your summer vacation facing again all the people that hurt you. It's not like i can't forgive them , but i still feel the pain and it kills me.

I don't want to keep on pushing away all the people and shut them down. All i really want is to go back to the things the way they used to be. Just like the old time, but i guess it's impossible. So, i should stop expecting it to happen.

I looked at the person beside me while i'm holding my dog as we walk together to reach our homes. I don't know why but my heart suddenly aches when I remember the things I thought i already forget, the things that hurt me that I think will continue to hurt me, I guess somehow.

***

After almost two hours of walking my pet at the park, I , mean -- we decided to go home. Kurt is the one who walk Jasper the whole time because he never give me the chance to. I just sat on a bench and watch them play.

I'm now sitting in my bed reading a novel when he throws a rock at my window, again. "Hey! " he screamed out.

I put down my book and faced him through my window. "What do you want Dawson? " he frowns on what I called him.

"I'm about to tell you something. " he sits at his window. I always felt nervous when he does that because there's always a chance that he might fell. He can't even fit himself to the window and just get a chair to start talking to me.

"Is it something important? I have many things to do, you know. " i said sarcastically. "Okay, it is veryy important. " i eyed at him as he emphasizes the word 'very'.

He let out a long sigh and told me, "First is, I want to make it up to you. I know that you're mad at me Sai. I'm very sorry. " The sun is just so distracting so I made it somehow as an excuse of not looking at him because if I did, I might be crying again.

"I know it sounds really unfair to just let you down that day. I wish I shouldn't just left. " I blinked at him. He's looking straight in to my eyes and I know, he really means it because he's like that when confessing the truth.

"I-I like you to know that when you confess to me, I'm so happy. I'm glad that you like me back but then I remember that , we were moving out so, I turn you down. And I know that's exactly the reason why you hate me. So, Sai , I'm very sorry. "

That's it, I close my window and started to cry in my bed. I feel like the pain is new to me and it hurts so badly.