Pretty Little Lies

Chapter Four

“Fashion tip: Ladies, I love low rise jeans as much as the next girl, but there is such a thing as jeans that fit too low. When you try on a pair, sit down, bend over, act like you are picking something up off the floor, even bend your knees all the way and touch the ground. Stretch up toward the ceiling. If you feel a draft behind you, yes, that IS your butt hanging out the back. It may well be gorgeous, but most of us really do not want to see it. Please for the love of denim, try on a different pair.”

 A few weeks later, Pyper and I are hanging out in her living room, drinking wine and talking. I anxiously wait for Pyper to reveal her big idea regarding how I can get my old self back. I know I need to put myself out there and start having fun again, especially since I’m finally feeling more settled in. I have painted my new room a pretty aqua color on one wall that reminds me of the ocean. It’s gorgeous and is the perfect accent to the comforter and shams. And how lovely does that tone look with the mahogany colored furniture? I have a few other accents in mind as well. Oops, I digress. What was she saying?

Pyper is looking at me, smiling, eager for my response. What did she say? Something about online dating and dating profiles? Did I shake my head yes and say ‘uh huh’? I hold my breath and she repeats “So, let’s create dating profiles on Date Me! Ready?”

I just stare at her blankly for a minute, and then laugh. “Are you joking?”

“Nope! I think it will be fun!”

“I don’t know about that. Not to sound pompous, but do we need to use a dating site to get dates? Isn’t that for people that can’t get a man on their own? Eager people? Desperate people? Hopeless, bleak, miserable people? Is that who I am? Is that who you think I am? Do I really need to resort to that?”

Pyper rolls her eyes at me, “This is the thing to do in the dating world. Think about it, how else are you – I mean we - going to meet a man? We don’t attend church often, and I’m not really sure I’d want to go to church to pick up a guy anyway. Something tells me God wouldn’t look on that favorably.”

“I think you are right about that, plus that would be weird. Hi, so my name is Olivia and I saw you praying over there and thought I could be the answer to some of your requests, so maybe you’d like to go out and we could uh, worship, together? I don’t think so.”

Laughing, Pyper continues, “Exactly. Picking guys up at bars only gets you trouble. There are only so many grocery stores and produce departments. We don’t belong to any kind of social club, civic organization, or hobby group or whatever where we can meet someone. You work from home and not too many men come to the spa – and those that do are likely not looking for a relationship with gals like us. This is the way to do it. Look at it like this…you research a car before you buy it right?”

Snorting softly I reply, “I don’t think I’m ready to ‘buy’ it yet Pyper. And what do I say? Hi, I’m Olivia, I just got divorced, and I’m eager and desperate to find someone. People will think I’m a loser and a whore!”

“First of all, you have been living in Boston for the last seven years, and other than me, you’ve not really kept in touch with anyone here. No one will know anything unless you tell them; unless it’s something you want them to know. It isn’t like you are looking to get married. You need to have fun. And besides, it’s been a long time since you dated. You need to get back out there again. Look at it like an amusing diversion. Besides, you’re the one who said that your marriage with Deacon was over long before you actually signed those papers and you’ve been wondering what singlehood would be like again. Well, it’s time you find out. As your best friend, I’m not taking no for an answer on this. Let’s at least look! Come on Olivia, jump.”