The Redo

Chapter 1

     One night a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed and that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note.      

     At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy. Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out & read it. "Without your love, I would die." I have this nightmare every night; where I lost the love of my life. I never did any interviews about it. I didn't want to bother anyone with it. Not a single person. My mother tried to get me to get to talk to someone like a therapist, she said it would be healthy to share my feelings.      But, no one else will understand. I was 16 and lost the only one who loved me. My mother's try but, I have no other siblings. So I'm alone but still. I'm the ghost in my family. I'm there but, then again I'm not. My mind takes me away and I don't ever feel like returning to reality, but because of my lostness I learned some things.

     In life you have to accept two things.

     1. Death is natural

     2. Love tears you apart

     It's the truth but, I have such a terrible time accepting the first one. It didn't feel natural. I have a hard time accepting that his death was natural. My moms told me while I was grieving that I should let myself feel my feelings. But, that only feeling I felt was depressed and the same thought kept running through my head "He didn't deserve it. I did." My mom's keep telling me that's not true. Neither of us even deserved to get hurt. But, he died. I can't change that and I never will be able to change that.