I was walking home with my dad, we done that very often. Just being there with him made me happy and made me feel safe. He understood me, believed in me and encouraged me to keep going. My mum wasn't in my life, she was metaphorically dead to me. After she left it was the worst 2 years of my life. Suicide thoughts took over my mind and blood ran all over my wrists due to self harm.My dad didn't know about my depression until I told him after 1 year and a few months. I started by showing him my wrists and he hugged me tight and told me everything was going to be okay. He lit up my path and gave me happiness. It was nice having the feeling that somebody does really care about you.I did take a while to overcome depression but he helped me through it.
"Run! Now!" my dad screamed. That was when I heard something which sounded like a gun shot, however I didn't really think it would be because here in Valley Creek if people had guns they never showed them, at least that was what I thought. That thought came to an end that day.
My dad and I ran as fast we could towards a bush close by and hid behind it. "Bend down honey" he said while covering me. He seemed to try to protect me more than himself and even though I respected him for that it made me worried. I looked through the small gaps in the leafy green bush and all I saw was a muscular shaped man wearing a black leather jacket with baggy khaki pants, and a mask of what looked like a beanie with holes cut in it. While I was analysing the man trying to identify him, I felt my dad's heavy figure drop on my scrawny body before falling along with him.
Whilst lying on the grass floor I wrapped my arms around him and I could feel his soaked body and the thick warm blood running through the gaps between my fingers. It felt like my heart was torn away from my body and being stepped on repeatedly. My eyes couldn't seem to react for my heart was too shattered that I didn't have the strength to cry. He was the only person I had in my life and he was gone. Just, gone.
I lay there staring at the multicoloured sky unable to recognise the colours in my corrupt mind. I didn't quite care about myself anymore, I hoped that heartless man would have come and shoot me so all the pain I felt would vanish like my dad's soul. It hurt it really did. It was like history was repeating itself, like the time when my mum left. I didn't know what hurt more, my mum who chose to leave me or my dad who unintentionally left.
I felt a hand grip my shoulder and I turned to see someone who looked not much older than me. His eyes were autumn green and I could picture beautiful leaves of all different colours floating inside of them. His hair looked like gold with a hint of chocolate. It was done in an ivy league hair cut brushed up just like the pictures.
"Are you okay? I heard a gun shot a few minutes ago", he said. His perfectly shaped eyebrows lifted and he looked so sincere it made my heart melt.
"Yeah..um I'm..o-". I burst into tears before I could complete my sentence. I would've been lying if I had said I was feeling okay. It wasn't the type of sadness I could've kept in. My dad was taken away from me by some ruthless monster how can anyone expect me to be okay.
"Well I'll just change the subject. My name is Jason whats yours?" he asked.
"Scarlet, and to be honest I really am not in the mood for some hot guy to flirt with me right now" I blurted. "Oh crap did I just say hot".
"You think I'm hot?" he replied. I noticed a dimple form after his divine lips developed a smile.
"Get over your damn self Jason" I answered stubbornly.
He walked away hands in his baggy jeans. I felt unpleasant but my dad had passed away and I wasn't going to pay my respects by going out with some douche.
I called the ambulance and they came as soon as they could. I watched them carry his body and I fell to the ground and sobbed like a baby who had just been abandoned. After that it was all a blur.
3 months later...
"Honey wake up, now!" my mum shouted that morning. I picked myself up from the rough concrete floor I was laying on. Like every other morning, I had a hangover. I giggled at the thought that I woke up outside the house of what felt nothing like a home. I kicked the beer bottle out of my way while my mum wrapped her arm around my shoulder and walked me inside.
I didn't feel that my mum really cared about me. In my view she took me under her wing because she felt guilty for leaving us, not because she cared. I didn't love her like a daughter loved her mother, but rather like a foster child who liked their carer. I didn't forgive her for what she did to my father and I because she literally gave me 2 years of seeing nothing but sadness and worthlessness. I looked at the mirror every day of those 2 years feeling insecure and I needed my mum to tell me I was beautiful, I really needed that.When a mother tells her daughter she is beautiful she really does feel it.I didn't have that for almost 5 years of my life and I got used to it.
"Scarlet honey you are still 17 and you shouldn't be drinking how many times do I have to tell you. You know I really do care about you, you know that right?" she said.
"Wow did you rehearse that line because boy I almost believed you" I replied sarcastically. "And call me Scar, it really resembles how you've ruined those 2 years of my life"
"Honey please-" she said before I cut her off.
"I was a child mum, I was only 12 when you left dad and me. Every time you look in the mirror think about a 12 year old cutting her wrists. Wait it gets better, I starved myself because I thought it would kill me and because I wanted to be skinny. I wanted to die mum and guess who saved me, dad". I shouted.
I thought I would be done but more words escaped my mouth. "And now he's gone mum, he is gone don't you get that it will never get better, it never will. I tried, I tried to be strong because I knew that was what he wanted but I cant, I just-". She wrapped her arms around me before I could continue. It was like a faucet was in my eyes turned on full blast.
I couldn't stop my tears from escaping my eyes and while that happened I heard my mum whisper, "There is so much you need to know".
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Hope you guys liked my first chapter! What do you think will happen next?
