Hollow Whispers

Silent Screams

The soft moan that was released through pursed lips was a mixture of pain and joy. The butterfly knife Vivent ran along the scars on his arms was sleek and sharp as it quickly re-opened the closed wounds. Blood trickled out slowly as he forced himself to control how deep he went.

"Fuck" He closed his eyes and leaned against the cratered wall of his bedroom. The guilt was too much for him. He felt as if everything going wrong was his fault, The stares, the shaking heads and worst of all now, the silent judging from Claudia his only true friend even before he sought help. He exhaled slowly, controlling the flow of the blood and pain he felt with sheer calm as he silently opened the small vent in the wall and slid the butterfly knife back into it's spot.

Vivent played with the idea of just letting himself bleed to death. The vertical incision only need the flex of his forearm to open into a bloody stream. He silently shook his head before walking over to the small adjourning bathroom. Putting gauze over the wounds was trivial for him but he still took the time to be careful as he applied the medical tape.  He finished quickly, an adept at the process through countless times repeating the process, he fell heavily upon the bed and laid still as his conscious moments blurred slowly until he hit R.E.M.

"V." The  voice next to Vivent brought him from his day dreams. "Yeah what is it?"  He craned his head upwards and stifled a yawn as he turned to Claudia. Her face was pinched with a frown that only deepened as Viv nuzzled her affectionately, before snatching a quick kiss that was rewarded with a smile.

"Now what were you saying? I dozed off for a second." She smiled at him again and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. It's nothing you just go to sleep we'll talk about it later. Vivent shook his head and looked at her. "I always like to know exactly at the moment. So that it's the most honest thoughts." She kissed him back, pushing her weight down so he was on his back. "Just go to sleep you library." She kissed him once more before shifting so she was comfortable snuggled into his side with her head on his shoulder while he groaned and gently put his lips to her forehead before embracing her and closing his eyes.

He awoke to Claudia's screams as he jerked forward only to be stopped dead by straps on his arms, being forced to watch his wrists be cut by the shadowy figure of a man. The blood spelt freely as the shadow spat at him. "This is what you always wanted right. Just choose, the endorphin pain, or the blissful, ignorant love. At least choose the one that benefits everyone else."

It was the sharp shriek of a female that took Vivent from the nightmarish hell he dreamt up. The warm blood spilling onto his face as he raised his hands, curiously looking at the fresh wounds of opened flesh, He could have swore he put gauze over them. His eyesight was blurry for a moment as he tried to keep his grasp on the situation but was fighting a losing battle. Too in shock to direct his sister to the gauze Vivent simply bled until the paramedics came.

"Hey!" Vivent gasped as he awoke woefully in a hospital bed his hands instantly reaching to touch the wrists that he only recently had slit open, He was restrained by straps on the bed. "Why won't you people just leave me be." Vivent whispered into his midsection as he felt the warm, comforting hand of another touch the back of his head. Softly stroking the hair in the calm way he always did to others. "Go away." Vivent groaned, and door opened shortly after, enjoying the solitude he leaned back and fell into a restless sleep, closing his eyes to go through the tedious process of recuperation again.

Time is meant to heal. But to be helped is to want it.

"Hi, My name is Vivent." The light tone in his voice easily was a far cry from the pleads of death less than a year ago. It's only been five months and the scars on his wrist's still lingered as watchful guardians of the past but they reminded Vivent of the best thing in life, being alive.

"Hello, My name is Vale." Her face was impartial as she spoke. If there was any emotion in her, it would have to climb high and ascend quickly to show in her hollow eyes. He never saw anyone like her, the bits of hair dyed black in the fray of honey colored hair. Her eyes a commanding grey as if the tears, He know she refused herself to shed had formed the storm seen within them.

Vivent looked onto the next boy, a scarce thirteen years old as he barely mumbled his name. "Would you say that once more, just a tad louder." The heavily devoid voice of our group leader George echoed through the other wise empty classroom. The boy sighed as if to state his name was utterly beneath him in a room full of older comrades. "I said my name is Jnavus." He had fade cut brown hair that curled on top, His eye were Hazel but looked almost gold in the lit classroom.

The last person to introduce themselves a petite girl who had herself practically buried in the over sized hoodie she wore, piqued all of their interests. With lightly curled short red hair, green eyes and a body that filled out a little better than her size. She honestly scared the rest of them to different extents Vivent though. "My name is Selva."

He laughed to myself silently at their names, enjoying the curious meaning of their origins.

Vivent for Vicentius, The winning conquer.

Vale, A simple goodbye.

Jnavus for Ignavus, A sly coward.

Finally Selva for Salve. The brightest hello's

Vivent thought to himself quietly as George rambled on about the usual non-sense. Good-bye, Hello, Coward and Conquer... very opposite things. Vivent shook his head slightly and groaned as he stretched waiting for the bell to ring so he could go to next class, then home.

"Damn it." Vivent spoke softly to himself as he brought his fist back, slamming it into the steel locker making a dent. He exhaled slowly as if he was releasing the pain in his hand out into the air. He picked up his back pack and looked at the text message again to make sure he had read it right and that the feeling in his chest was just a trick of the mind.

"I don't know if I can keep doing this Viv, It's been over a year and ever since you tried the first time, you just kept getting more distant and I honestly feel as if I'm looking through a telescope trying to find my star again. I'm leaving you, whether you try again or not isn't my concern anymore because I'm breaking trying to stay with you. This is good-bye."

His eye's dried and gained a sultry 'hardened' look as Claudia's last contact with him was a goodbye. It was true that he had distanced himself from her since his first attempt at suicide but, it was only so she wouldn't feel as much pain had he already completed the plan to end his life. But the damage was done and even as he recovered to the person he was now he could scarcely bring up any conversation he felt was meaningful or fulfilling to their relationship. Vivent lowered his head and blinked out the tears before sighing.

The day dragged on, spanning towards the infinite to Vivent as he walked into his last period. The history teacher gave him a warm welcome just like he gave everyone as Vivent slumped into his seat.

"Hey bro, what's up?" The female leaning in front of the desk was cute. A light complexion of skin with whisps of color that shown as a flush. Her hair was jet black and tumbling down below her shoulders at the moments as she held her hand open waiting for the 'dap' that signified greeting.

"Nothing much, Just tired like always." Vivent laughed lightly as he dapped her up and she sat down at the adjacent seat. The class droned on with the usual banter and noise as Vivent's mood darkened and he slowly but surely did nothing, putting his head down and taking a nap.

His eyes opened up from the too short slumber as he felt his shoulder lightly shook, Vivent turned his head to see the girl from earlier Jade smiling at him and saying something he couldn't make out at the moment. He just meagerly shook his head yes and went home.