Alice in Wonderland

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by AmyCatto

by AmyCatto

Alice: Curiouser and curiouser.
Pause
White rabbit: I told you she's the right Alice.
Dormouse: I am not convinced.
White rabbit: How is that for gratitude? I've Been up there for weeks, trailing one Alice after the next, and I was almost eaten by other animals. Can you imagine? They go about entirely unclothed, and they do their shukm in public. I had to avert my eyes.
Flower: Doesn't look anything like herself.
Dormouse: That's because she's the wrong Alice.
Tweedledee: If she was, she might be.
Tweedledum: If she isn't, she ain't.
Tweedledee: But if she were so, she would be.
Tweedledum: But she isn't, nohow.
Alice: How can i be the wrong Alice when this is my dream? And Who are you, if I might ask?
Tweedledee: Oh, I'm Tweedledee, and he's Tweedledum.
Tweedledum: Contrariwise, I'm Tweedledum, he's Tweedledee.
Dodo: We should consult Absolem.
Flower: Exactly. Absolem will know who she is.
Tweedledee: I'll escort you.
Tweedledum: Hey, it's not being your turn. So unfair.
Tweedledee: Hey, leave off!
Tweedledum: Let go!
(Sorry if I get the names wrong it's because they look the same it's hard to tell)
Alice: Are they always this way?
White rabbit: Family trait. You can both escort her.
Alice: Who is this Absolem?
White rabbit: He's wise. He's absolute.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum sync: He's Absolem.
Pause
Absolem: Who are you?
Alice: Absolem?
Absolem: You're not Absolem, I'm Absolem. The question is, who are you?
Alice: Alice.
Absolem: We shall see.
Alice: What do you mean by that? I ought to know who I am.
Absolem: Yes, you ought, stupid girl. Unroll the Oraculum.
White rabbit: The Oraculum, being a calendrical compendium of underland.
Alice: it's a calendar.
Absolem: Compendium. It tells of each and every day since the Beginning.
White rabbit: Today is Griblig Day in the time of the Red Queen.
Absolem: Show her the Frabjous Day.
Tweedledum: Yeah, Frabjous being the day you slay the Jabberwocky.
Alice: Sorry? Slay a what?
Tweedledee: Oh, yeah. That being you, there, with the vorpal sword.
Tweedledum: No other swords can kill the Jabberwocky, nohow.
Tweedledee: If it ain't Vorpal, it ain't dead.
Alice: That's not me!
Dormouse: I know!
White rabbit: Resolve this for us, Absolem. Is she the right Alice?
Absolem: Not hardly.
Dormouse: I told you.
White rabbit: Oh, dear.
Tweedledee: I said so.
Tweedledum: I said so.
Tweedledee: Contrariwise, you said she might be.
Tweedleedum: No, you said she would be if she was.
Flower: (Laughs) Little impostor. Pretending to be Alice. She should be ashamed.
White rabbit: I was so certain of you.
Alice: I'm sorry. I don't mean to be the wrong Alice. Wait, this is my dream. I'm going to wake up now and you'll all disappear. (Pinches) That's odd. Pinching usually does the trick.
Dormouse: I could stick you, if that would help.
Alice: It might, actually. Thank you.
Dormouse: My pleasure.
(Bandersnatch smashes through wall)
Tweedledee and tweedledum sync: Bandersnatch!
(Animals gets captured)

(Alice stops running)
Alice: Wait. It's only a dream. Nothing can hurt me.
Dormouse: What's she doing?
Alice: Can't hurt me. Can't hurt me.
(Bandersnatch roars in her face)
Dormouse: Run, you great lug!
(Pauses)
Tweedledee: This way, east to quest.
Tweedledum: No, south to Snud.
Tweedledee: No. No, no. This way.
(Big bird squawks)
(Big bird takes tweedledum and tweedledee away)
Red queens castle
Red queen: Someone has stolen three of my tarts!
(Pause)
Red queen: Did you steal them?
Frog 1: No, your majesty.
Red queen: Did you?
Frog 2: No, your majesty.
Red queen: Did you steal them?
Frog 3: No, your majesty.
Red queen: Did you steal my tarts?
Frog 4: No, your majesty.
(Red queen tastes something on the 4th frogs mouth)
Red queen: Squimberry juice.
Frog 4: I was so hungry! I didn't mean to!
Red queen: Off with his head!
Frog 4: My family! Oh, please, please don't! No! I have little ones to look after!
Red queen: Go to his house and collect the little ones. I love tadpoles on toast almost as much as I love caviar.
Fish: Yes, your majesty.
Red queen: Drink!
Stayne: Majesty?
Red queen: IIosovic Stayne, you knave, where have you been lurking?
Stayne: Majesty, I have found the Oraculum.
Red queen: That? Looks so ordinary for an oracle.
Stayne: Look here, on the Frabjous Day.
Red queen: I'd know that tangled mess of hair anywhere. Is it Alice?
Stayne: I believe it is.
Red queen: What's she doing with my darling Jabberwocky?
Stayne: She appears to be slaying it.
Red queen: She killed my Jabber-baby-wocky?
Stayne: Not yet, but it will happen if we don't stop her.
Red queen: Find Alice, Stayne. Find her!
(Pause)
Stayne: Fine the scent of human girl and earn your freedom.
Baynard the blood hound: For my wife and pups, as well?
Stayne: Everyone will go home.
(Baynard barks and runs off)
Staynes horse: Dogs will believe anything.
Back to Alice
(Alice walking through creepy forest)
(Cheshire Cat appears)
Cheshire Cat: It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws.
Alice: And I'm still dreaming.
Cheshire Cat: What did that to you?
Alice: Banner or Bander...
Cheshire Cat: The Bandersnatch? Well, I'd better have a look.
Alice: What are you doing?
Cheshire Cat: It needs to be purified by someone with evaporateing skills, or it will fester and putrefy. (Does big smile)
Alice: I'd rather you didn't. I'll be fine as soon as I wake up.
Cheshire Cat: At least let me bind it for you. What do you call yourself?
Alice: Alice.
Cheshire Cat: The Alice? (Does big smile)
Alice: There's been some debate about that.
Cheshire Cat: I never get involved in politics. You'd best be on your way.
Alice: What way? All I want to do is wake up from this dream.
Cheshire Cat: Fine. Then I'll take you to the Hare and the Hatter, but that's the end of it.
(Cheshire disappears)
(Cheshire reappears) Coming?
At the mad hatters tea party
(Alice arrives)
(Mad hatter walks across table)
Dormouse: Watch what you're doing!
March Hare: Hey, watch it! Okay, okay. All right.
Mad hatter: It's you.
Dormouse: No, it's not. McTwisp brought us the wrong Alice.
March Hare: It's the wrong Alice!
Mad hatter: It's absolutely Alice. You're absolutely Alice. I'd know you anywhere. I'd know him anywhere.
(March hare and the dormouse laughs)
Mad hatter: Well, as you can see, we're still having tea. And it's all because I was obliged to kill time waiting for your return. You're terribly late, you know. Naughty. Well, anyway, time became quite offended and stopped altogether.
(Cheshire Cat appears and smiles holding a tea cup)
(March Hare gets scared)
Mad hatter: Not a tick ever since.
(March hare laughs) Cup.
Alice: Time can be funny in dreams.
Mad hatter: Yes, yes, of course, but now you're back, you see, and we need to get on to the Frabjous Day.
March hare and the dormouse sync: Frabjous Day!
Mad hatter: I'm investigating things that begin with the letter "M." Have you any idea why a Raven is like a writing desk? Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid!
Alice: What?
Cheshire Cat: Down with the bloody big head, the bloody big head being the Red Queen.
Mad hatter: Come, come. We simply must commence with the slaying and such. Therefore, it is high time to forgive and forget or forget and forgive, whichever comes first or is, in any case, most convenient. I'm waiting.
March Hare: Hey. It's tick-tick... It's ticking again.
Cheshire Cat: All this talk of blood and slaying has put me off my tea.
Mad hatter: The entire world is falling to ruin and poor Chessur's off his tea.
Cheshire Cat: What happened that day was not my fault.
March Hare: (GASPS) Oh, dear.
Mad hatter: You ran out on them to save your own skin, you guddler's Scuttish Pilgar Lickering Shukm juggling sluking urpal. Bar Lom muck egg Brimni!
Dormouse: Hatter!
Mad hatter: Thank you.
March Hare: Meow.
Mad hatter: I'm fine.
Cheshire Cat: What's wrong with you, Tarrant? You used to be the life of the party. You used to do the best Futterwacken in all of Witzend.
Alice: Futter what?
March hare: Futterwacken!
Dormouse: It's a dance.
Mad hatter: On the Frabjous Day, when the white queen once again wears the crown, on that day, I shall Futterwacken vigorously.
(Stayne and the guards arrive)
March hare: Oh, no.
Cheshire Cat: oh, oh,
Dormouse: The Knave.
Cheshire Cat: Goodbye.
Dormouse: Hide her!
Mad hatter: Drink this quickly.
March hare: Quick! Hide her!
Dormouse: Oh, dear.
March hare: Aye. (Drinks tea)
(Mad hatter puts Alice in tea pot)
Mad hatter: Mind your head.
Alice: Let me out!
Stayne: Well, if it's not my favourite trio of lunatics.
Dormouse: Would you like to join us?
March hare: You're all late for tea!
Stayne: We're looking for the girl called Alice.
Mad hatter: Speaking of the queen, here is a little song we used to sing in her honour.
(Mad hatter, dormouse and the March hare singing together) Twinkle Twinkle little bat How I wonder where you're at up a...
Stayne: If you're hiding her, you'll lose your heads.
Mad hatter: Already lost them. All together now!
(Mad hatter, dormouse and the March hare singing together) Up above the world you fly like a tea tray in the sky
(Dormouse and March hare singing together) Twinkle, Twinkle, Twinkle, Twinkle Twinkle, Twinkle, twinkle Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle...
(Baynard comes to mad hatter and growls at him)
Mad hatter: Downal Wyth Bluddy Behg Hid!
(Baynard stops growling and runs off barking)
March Hare: Would you like some cream? Would you like a slice of Battenberg?
Stayne: Follow the bloodhound.
Dormouse: Sugar?
March Hare: Yes, please.
(Dormouse throws sugar into March Hares cup)
March Hare: Oh, that's lovely.
Stayne: you're all mad.
March Hare: Thanks very much.
Dormouse: Pass the scones, please. That one there.
(Hatter almost lifts lid of tea pot but quickly shuts it)
mad hatter: Pardon.
March Hare: Yes. Yep, aye.
Mad hatter: One moment.
(Hatter cuts her a new dress)
Mad hatter: There. Yes. Try this on for size.
(Hatter lifts Alice out)
Mad hatter: Oh. Uh... I like it.
Dormouse: Good thing the bloodhound is one of us, or you'd be...
Alice: What do they want with me?
March Hare: Wait a minute, best take her to the White Queen. She'll be safe there. Spoon...
(Hatters lifts off his hat)
Mad hatter: Your carriages, milady.
Alice: The hat?
Mad hatter: Of course. Anyone can go by horse or rail, but the absolute best way to travel is by hat. Have I made a rhyme?
Dormouse: I love travelling by hat.
Mad hatter: Mally. Just Alice, please. Fairfarren, all.
March hare: What do you mean? Wait. Gae! (Throws cup at hatter)
Mad hatter and Alice walks through creepy forest
Mad hatter: "'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe "All mimsy were the borogoves and the mome raths outgrabe"
Alice: Sorry, what was that?
Mad hatter: What was what? The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame jaws that bite and claws that catch! "'Beware the Jabberwock, my son! And the frumious Bandersnatch! "He took his vorpal sword In hand the vorpal blade went snicker-snack! "He left it dead, and with its head he went galumphing back" it's all about you, you know.
Alice: I'm not slaying anything. I don't slay, so put it out of your mind.
Mad hatter: Mind.
(Puts Alice down in the floor and starts to walk away)
Alice: Wait! You can't leave me here!
Mad hatter: You don't slay. Do you have any idea what the Red Queen has done? You don't slay.
Alice: I couldn't if I wanted to.
Mad hatter: You're not the same as you were before. You were much more muchier. You've lost your muchness.
Alice: My "muchness"?
(Mad hatter points to her heart)
Mad hatter: In there. Something's missing.
Alice: Tell me what Red Queen has done.
Mad hatter: It's not a pretty story.
Alice: Tell me anyway.
(Sorry I can't say really what the story but all I know is that the red queen and the Jabberwocky burnt down the village)
Mad hatter: It was here. I was hatter to the White Queen at the time. Hightopp clan have always been employed at court.
(Hatter day dreaming about the village getting burned down)
Alice: Hatter? Hatter!
Mad hatter: I'm fine.
Alice: Are you?
(Dog barking in the distances)
Mad hatter: Did you hear that? I'm certain I heard something.
Alice: What?
(Dog barking getting closer)
Mad hatter: Red Knights.
(Starts running away to the lake)
Mad hatter: Go south to Trotter's Bottom. The White Queen's castle is just beyond. Hold on tightly.
(Throws his own hat across the lake)
Mad Hatter: Down with the bloody Red Queen!
(Guards take away the mad hatter)
Long pause
Alice: You were supposed to lead them away! The Hatter trusted you!
Bayard: They have my wife and pups.
Alice: What's your name?
(Sorry I got the dogs name wrong throughout the story)
Bayard: Bayard.
Alice: Sit!
Bayard: Would your name be Alice, by any chance?
Alice: Yes, but I'm not the one that everybody's talking about.
Bayard: The Hatter would not have given himself up just for any Alice.
Alice: Where did they take him?
Bayard: To the Red Queen's castle at Salazen Grum.
Alice: We're going to rescue him.
Bayard: That is not foretold.
Alice: I don't care. He wouldn't be there if it weren't for me.
Bayard: The Frabjous Day is almost upon us. You must prepare to meet the Jabberwocky.
Alice: From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole, I've been told what I must do and who I must be. I've been shrunk, stretched, scratched and stuffed into a teapot. I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice, but this is my dream. I'll decide where it goes from here.
Bayard: If you diverge from the path...
Alice: I make the path.
(Alice gets on Bayard)
Alice: Take me to Salazen Grum, Bayard, and don't forget the hat.
(Bayard runs all the way to the red queens castle)
(Bayard lets Alice down at the castle wall)
Bayard: There's only one way across.
Alice: Lost my muchness, have I? (Looks at wall) Bayard! The hat!
(Bayard throws hat over the wall into the queens garden)
(Alice enters into the castle grounds)
(Queen playing croquet)
(Dodo passes the queen a bird sorry I can't remember how to spell it right)
Dodo: Your Majesty.
Bird: So sorry.
(Queen hits hedgehog)
Servent: Splendid shot!
Red queen: Where's my ball? Page!
White rabbit: Yes, your Majesty.
(Alice untieing the hedgehog)
Alice: I want to help you.
White rabbit: well, if it isn't the wrong Alice. What brings you here?
Alice: I've come to rescue the Hatter.
White rabbit: you're not rescuing anyone being the size of a gerbil.
Alice: Well, do you have any more of that cake that made me grow before?
White rabbit: Upelkuchen? Actually, I might have some left.
(Alice eats some of the cake)
White rabbit: Not all of it!
(Alice starts growing big)
White rabbit: Oh, no! Stop! No, no, no, don't. Don't do that!
Red Queen: Page!
White rabbit: Oh, dear.
Red queen: And what is this?
White rabbit: It... It's a "who," Majesty. This is, um...
Red queen: Um?
Alice: From Umbradge.
Red queen: What happened to your clothes?
Alice: I outgrew them. I've been growing an awful lot lately. I tower over everyone in Umbradge. They laugh at me. So I've come to you, hoping you might understand what it's like.
Red queen: My dear girl, anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court. Someone find her some clothes! Use the curtains if you must, but clothe this enormous girl.
In the throne room
Red queen: I need a pig here!
(Pig comes running and goes under her feet)
Red queen: I love a warm pig belly for my aching feet. Would you like one, Um?
Alice: No, thank you.
Red queen: Sit! Sit! Go away. Where are my fat boys? You must meet them. Fat boys! There they are. Aren't they adorable! They have the oddest way of speaking. Speak, boys. Amuse us.
Tweedledee: Go on.
(The twins notice Alice)
Alice whispers: No.
Red queen: Speak!
Tweedledum: Is that being...
Tweedledee: No, no, it isn't. Not a bit. No.
Tweedledum: Contrariwise, I believe it's so.
Tweedledee: No, it ain't so, nohow!
(Red queen laughs)
Red queen: I love my fat boys. Now, get out.
(Twins walking away)
Tweedledee: He did pinch me.
Tweedledum: He did pinch me.
(Stayne arrives and kisses the queens hand)
(Stayne notices Alice)
Stayne: And who is this lovely creature?
Red queen: Um, my new favourite.
Stayne: Well, does she have a name?
Red queen: Um.
Stayne: I believe your name has slipped the Queen's mind.
Red queen: Her name is Um, idiot!
Alice: From Umbradge.
Red queen: Any luck with the prisoner?
Stayne: He's stubborn.
Red queen: you're too soft. Bring him!
(Mad hatter enters room)
Red queen: We know Alice has returned to underland. Do you know where she is?
Mad Hatter: I've been considering things that begin with the letter "M." Moron, mutiny, murder, malice.
Red queen: We're looking for an "A" word now. Where is Alice?
Mad hatter: Who, that wee little boy? I wouldn't know.
Red queen: What if I take off your head? Will you know then?
(Mad hatter laughing)
Red queen: Stop that.
Mad hatter: What a regrettably large head you have. I should very much like to hat it.
Red queen: Hat it?
Mad hatter: Yes. I used to hat the White Queen, you know. Wasn't very much to work with, poor dear. Her head is so small.
Red queen: It's tiny. It's a pimple of a head.
Mad hatter: But this... What I could do with this monument, this orb... Nay, this magnificently heroic globe.
Red queen: What could you do?
(Mad hatter holds up his binded hands)
Red queen: Unbind him, Stayne.
(Stayne not to sure)
Red queen: How can he work if his hands are bound?
(Stayne cuts Cain of the mad hatters hands)
Mad hatter: Well, then, shall it be a bonnet or a boater? Or something for the boudoir? Cloche, dunce hat, death cap, coif, snood, barboosh, pugree, yarmulke, cockle hat, porkpie, tam o' shanter, bilycock, bicorne, tricorne, bandeau, bongrace, fan-tail, night cap, Garibaldi, fez...
Alice: Hatter.
Mad hatter: Fez?
Red queen: Leave us.
At the White queens castle
White queen: The trees seem sad. Have you been speaking with them?
White queens worker: Yes, your majesty.
White queen: Perhaps a bit more kindly.
(White queen notices Bayard running over)
White queen: Would you all excuse me for a moment? Thank you.
(White queens run over to Bayard)
White queen: What news, Bayard?
Bayard: Alice has returned to Underland.
White queen: Where is she now?
Bayard: In Salazen Grum. Forgive me. I allowed her to divert from her destined path.
White queen: No, no, no, no. But that is exactly where she will find the Vorpal sword. We have our champion. Rest now. You've done well.
At red queens castle
(Alice looks at hedgehog)
Alice: Have you seen a hat around here?
(Hedgehog points over to the hat)
In the red queens castle
Red Queen: You must find Alice, Stayne. Without the Jabberwocky, my sister's followers will surely rise against me. Ugly little sister. Why do they adore her and not me?
Stayne: I cannot fathom it. You are far superior in all ways.
Red queen: I know. But Mirana can make anyone fall in love with her. Men, women, even the furniture.
Stayne: Even the King?
(Red queen looks down in the water with heads in it)
Red queen: I had to do it. He would have left me.
Stayne: Majesty, is it not better to be feared than loved?
Red queen: Not certain any more. Let her have the rabble. I don't need them. I have you.
Where the Mad Hatter is
Alice: They're wonderful. You must let me try one on.
Mad hatter: It is good to be working at my trade again.
Alice: It's just a pity you have to make them for her.
(Mad Hatter stops)
Mad hatter: What is the hatter with me? Hatter?
(Mad Hatter gets mad and throws stuff)
Alice: Hatter.
Mad hatter: Have you any idea why a Raven is like a writing desk? I'm frightened, Alice. I don't like it in here. It's terribly crowed. Have I gone mad?
Alice: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are. Here.
(Alice puts the hat back on the mad hatter)
Alice: That's better. You look yourself again.
Red queen: Hat man! Where are my hats? I'm not a patient monarch!
Mad hatter: I'm told she keeps the Vorpal sword hidden in the castle. The rabbit will help you. Find it, Alice. Take it to the White Queen.
Alice: We'll go to the White Queen together.
Mad Hatter: Why is it you're always too small or too tall?
(Alice walks out of room)
Alice: Tweedles.
Tweedledee and tweedledum: Alice. How do you do, again?
Alice: Where's the rabbit?
Tweedledum: How is it you're being so great big?
Tweedledee: She ain't great big, this is how she normal is.
Tweedledum: I'm certain she's smaller when we met.
Tweedledee: No, she drank the pishsalver to get through the door, recall it?
Tweedledum: Oh, Yeah.
Alice: Where's the rabbit?
(Twins point two ways)
Tweedledee and Tweedledum: Over theres.
Where the white Rabbit is
Dormouse: What are you doing here?
Alice: I'm rescuing the Hatter.
Dormouse: I'm rescuing the Hatter.
Alice: He told me that the Vorpal sword is hidden in the castle. Help me find it.
Dormouse: I don't take orders from big, clumsy, galumphing...
Alice: Shoo!
(White rabbit looks nervous)
Alice: What is it, Mc Twisp?
White rabbit: I know where the sword is.
At the Bandersnatchs hut
White rabbit: The sword's hidden inside. Be careful, Alice.
Alice: I know that smell.
(Alice looks in hut and see's Bandersnatch sleeping)
Alice: I'm not going in there. Look what that thing did to my arm.
White rabbit: Dear, oh, dear. Why haven't you mentioned this?
Alice: It wasn't this bad before.
Back in the red queens castle
Dormouse: Hatter? Where are you? Hatter?
Alice: Mallymkun. Do you still have the Bandersnatch eye?
Dormouse: Right here.
Alice: I need it.
Dormouse: Come and get it.
(Alice grabs it off the dormouse easily)
Dormouse: Hey! Give it back!
Alice in the hall way
(Stayne pushes Alice against the wall)
Stayne: I like you, Um. I like largeness.
Alice: Get away from me.
Alice in the Bandersnatch hut
(Bandersnatch wakes up and grows)
Alice: I have your eye.
(BandeSnatch puts his eye back in)
In the red queens castle
(Hatter puts on swan hat)
Red queen: No.
(Hatter puts on small hat)
Servent: You look stunning in that hat.
Red queen: Yes. Next.
(Hatter puts on big hat)
Girl servent: Your majesty has never looked better.
Red queen: Another.
(Hatter puts on love heart hat)
(Fake nose falls of girl servent)
Mad hatter: I don't wish to alarm you, but it smells as though you might have dropped something.
(Guy servent with fake big belly)
(Hatter points and laughs)
Red queen: Never mind him, he's mad. Come along.
(Girl servent whispers to the queen)
Red queen: Stayne!
In the Bandersnatchs hut
(Bandersnatch licks wounded arm on Alice)
Alice: I suppose this makes us even now.
(Alice unlocks chest and grabs the Vorpal sword and runs back out the hut)
At the red queens castle
Stayne: Um forced herself on me. I told her my heart belongs to you, but she's obsessed with me.
(The red queen gets angry)
Red queen: Off with her head!
Where the mad hatter and the dormouse is
Alice: Stand back, Mallymkun. How's this for muchness?
Mad hatter: It mustn't be used for anything...
(Stayne walks in the room)
Stayne: Arrest that girl for unlawful seduction!
Dormouse: Hatter!
Mad hatter: Take it to the White Queen.
Alice: I'm not leaving without you.
Mad hatter: Go!
(Stayne and the mad hatter starts fighting)
Dormouse: Run, Alice!
(The dormouse covers her mouth)
Stayne: Alice?
Mad hatter: Run!
(Mad hatter sprays perfume in Starnes eyes)
Stayne: Seize her.
(Alice gets serrounded by guards)
(Stayne comes walking out)
Stayne: Alice. Of course. Why didn't I see it? Well, it has been a long time, and you were such a little tyke then. Give me the sword.
(Guard puts spear towards her)
Alice: Stay back.
Stayne: The Queen will be so pleased. She will take great pleasure in taking off your head.
(Guards grab her arms)
(Bandersnatch roaring and comes bashing out the hut)
(Alice gets on the Bandersnatchs back and runs out the castle grounds)
(Alice meets Bayard outside of castle grounds)
Bayard: Alice!
Alice: Bayard! To Marmoreal.
In the red queens castle
Stayne: Majesty, Alice has escaped
(Queen slaps him across the face)
Stayne: On the Bandersnatch,
(Queens slaps him across the face again)
Stayne: With the Vorpal sword.
(Queen slaps him again across the face harder)
Red queen: How could you let this happen?
Stayne: I may have underestimated her, but we have her conspirators, the Hatter and a dormouse.
Red queen: Off with their heads!
At white queens castle
(Alice walks in)
White queen: Welcome to Marmoreal.
Alice: I believe this belongs to you.
(Alice hands her the Vorpal Sword)
White queen: The Vorpal sword is home again.
(White queen puts Vorpal sword with the armour)
White queen: The armour is complete. Now all we need is a champion. You're a little taller than I thought you'd be.
Alice: Blame it on too much Upelkuchen.
White queen: Come with me.
(White queen walks in to kitchen and nearly gets hit by green stuff but ducks)
Alice: Is the March Hare here?
March Hare: You're late for your soup, you wee besom. You're late for your soup
(Alice tastes it)
Alice: Could use some salt.
(March Hare throws cup at Alice but misses)
March Hare: Come here, you! Give me that here. Choppy, chop, chop, chop. Leek and potato. Yes. That would be...
White queen: Pishsalver. Let me think. A pinch of worm fat, urine of the horsefly, buttered fingers.
(White queen smells it and thinks it smells lovely)
White queen: My sister preferred to study Dominion over living things. Tell me, how does she seem to you?
Alice: Perfectly horrid.
White queen: And her head?
Alice: Bulbous.
White queen: I think she may have some kind of growth in there, something pressing on her brain. Three coins from a dead man's pocket, two teaspoons of wishful thinking.
Alice: You can't imagine the things that go on in that place.
White queen: Yes, I can. But when a champion steps forth to slay the Jabberwocky, the people will rise against her.
(White queen spits in the drink)
White queen: That should do it.
(White queen pours it on the spoon)
White queen: Blow.
(Alice drinks it and starts going back to her normal hight)
White queen: Feel better?
Alice: Much, thank you. There's someone here who would like to speak with you.
Out side of the white queens castle
Alice: Absolem?
Absolem: Who are you?
Alice: I thought we'd settled this. I'm Alice, but not that one.
Absolem: How do you know?
Alice: You said so yourself.
Absolem: I said you were not hardly Alice, but you're much more her now. In fact, you're almost Alice.
Alice: Even so, I couldn't slay the Jabberwocky if my life depended on it.
Absolem: It will. So I suggest you keep the Vorpal sword on hand when the Frabjous Day arrives.
Alice: You seem so real. Sometimes I forget that this is all a dream.
(Absolem blows smoke on Alice)
(Alice coughs)
Alice: Will you stop doing that?
(Absolem laughs)
At red queens castle where the mad hatter is in the dungeon
(Cheshire cat appears)
Cheshire Cat: I've always admired that hat.
Mad hatter: Hello, Chess.
Cheshire Cat: Since you won't be needing it any more,
(Cheshire Cat comes in the cell and sits around his hat)
Cheshire Cat: Would you consider bequeathing it to me? (Does big smile)
Mad hatter: How dare you? It is a formal execution. I would like to look my best, you know.
Cheshire Cat: It is a pity about all this. I was looking forward to seeing you Futterwacken.
Mad hatter: I was rather good at it, was I not?
Cheshire Cat: I really do love that hat.
(Mad hatter pulls it away from him)
Cheshire Cat: I would wear it to all the finest occasions. (Does big smile)

Sorry that will be it till tomorrow and il update it again