The 100 short stories

Happy Hour

 The heart is a delicate creature. No one knows that better than someone who's fallen in love. It is a privileged denied to many in our fickle world. Then again those who've lost love, well they know just how strong a heart can be when it has to be. Nothing prepares you for the crippling pain. Nothing ever replaces the light they brought into your life.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't sleep. The air was hot in my bedroom, keeping the window open did nothing. My body felt like it was missing a piece of itself. My heart beat inside my chest, but it wasn't whole anymore. It was barely stitched back together now that everything was all said and done.

Or you know, everything that could be said was.

Everyone says that time will heal the pain. You'll learn to live and breathe on your own. Everyone promises one day you'll wake up and move on with your life. You'll find someone new, they'll make you smile and for a moment you'll forget about the pain. Somehow you'll learn to live with it and you'll find love again.

But what if I don't want to be like everyone else? What if I don't want to wake up and feel the hollowness inside my chest instead of the pain that reminded me I was alive.

The pain that reminded me that we had been in love.

I don't want to forget him. I don't want to find someone new. I want him and his strong tan arms to wrap back around me. I wanted his lips to press against my back while we laughed together in bed. There wasn't anyone else I wanted to fall asleep beside or wake up next to. No one can prepare you or soothe the cracks in your heart with you lose your other half.

Everyone offers you pretty words and advice they've never needed. They think that you'll pull yourself together and come out a stronger person. But they aren't the ones who lay awake at night missing the feeling of someone else in their bed. They don't cry themselves to sleep because they can never see their favorite person smile ever again.

He had been my dream of a partner. A lover, a best friend, someone who would stand beside me when the walls were ready to fall down.

Now I had to find a way through this mess without him. I wasn't sure I could do that on my own.

I grabbed his old sweatshirt and pulled it on over my shoulders. I slipped on a pair of shoes and grabbed my keys. Whenever life became too much for us we took a drive. I knew it wouldn't be the same without him, nothing ever would be. But I needed to clear my head. The ground wasn't even cold where we laid him and I was falling apart.

I ran my hand through my hair and backed out of the driveway. My heart would never stop hurting, I knew it wouldn't. Still my mind wouldn't stop playing back all our memories. The good, the bad, even the ugly ones comforted me in the dark of the night. It was like a movie streaming, watching us find each other, fall for each other, and then in the blink of an eye watching it all come crashing down around me.

As I drove the movie started up again. I took in a deep breath as I held the wheel tightly. My mind flashed to freshman year of college. That's where it all began. It was snowing and freezing outside. My fingers were frost bitten as I tried to carry all my books to my car.

"Hey need some help?" His voice sounded behind me. I jumped almost ten feet in the air, startled by his sudden appearance.

I wasn't even halfway to my car, but my pride started to deny him, "no it's okay. I'm almost there."

He laughed, "my mother would yell at me if I wasn't a gentleman and didn't at least try and help you."

He took half the stack and tucked it under his arm. The relief was instant, my shoulders rolling with newfound movement, "thanks."