uncertain

viii

i stared at your peaceful angelic face as you sleep

with your long eyelashes where your dreams rest

with your longing eyes that have seen the beauty and the distraction of this lonely world

'My angel. My soul. My life. My everything'

i've noticed

you're always sleeping

always tired

chemotherapy sure is tiring

i remember the times you cried because

your hair is losing like leaves in a tree during a hurricane ; but honey, you are still beautiful

or

your head is throbbing
because of the pain a 17 years old can't even handle

and all i can do is to hold your hand

whispers sweet nothings as you scream
in pain and shut your eyes tight

Until it'll stop

and you'll give me a weak smile

and smile at me after all the pain you've been through that day

"i love you too, ethan, i love y-you"