Him

Thinking...

I dont know why people fall in love actually...I mean like...we get so hooked on a person but for what?To make up confident? To fill in the gaps or the gun holes that have been created throughout the years?I dont know...and...and I am not denying myself the simple pleasure if just loving... And I wont lie..I want to be needed..I want someone to need me..to be proud of me..to be there when I am under the weather.. To celebrate with me fir my achievements...to be my shoulder to cry when I am depressed.. To bring me warm coffee on a rainy day and dance wuth my in the moonlight whilensaying hiw much he loves me...yeahh there it goes the cheesiness (Ok)..And oh God...I knew it.I just knew the one.When I saw you passing that fuckin door all sweaty, wearing that navy blue T -shirt of yours...yeah the one you adore, you just came and stole my freakin heart.Well and when you looked at me...everything froze...time suddenly disappeared...those brown eyes mirrored your soul.. So broken so cold...and yet I could imagine you destroying me..I just knew it.and I didnt stop it..I didnt run away,from you.You were an addiction,a kimd of drug for me..my only source of happiness even though I didnt own you..and I will never actually...To you I was just that weird freshman but to me you were my everything... You cant believe how much I cried for you...I felt useless,ugly,fat...because we didnt talk..yeah stupid me I guess...you were so broken and and I wanted to fix you..but well the broken one apparently is me..it was always me...right?but I guess no one cares.. No one ever asked if I were okay..I am invisible.. But everytime I saw those eyes I felt like I was someone..like I belonged somewhere..you completed me...and I waited..oh I waited so much...until the day you'd approach me and have a deep conversation... Well thats how I always imagined it...talking under the moonlight whike looking at the stars bungled up with a ton of blankets drinking coffee and listening to sime quality music..talkimg about everything..from the silliest to the deepest topics...from food to sexism and our dreams and our future...but yeah...I dreamed avout that..I was just sleeping without realizing that this would never happend right?and finally you became a habit.. I woke up thinking of you..going to school searching for you just to see you talking to other girls..and I was so freakin jealous without a reason actually... And I saw you comin towards me and my body started shivering and I was tembling because I knew that you were going to her...and even if she is not yours now...she will someday be...and I tried... Oh god knows how much I tried and how long I held on..but MA love...you are a bad habit... And you are tearing me down..you damage me..you have just broken me into so many little pieces...as muuch as the times you saw me and made me believe I had hopes...and well you know when you throw a glass and it breaks even if you apology a thousand times, the glass wont be fixed....so does my heart...thank you... For destroying me...at least I was glad it was you...I would eventually be hurt.. But on the bright side I made a clever choice right?and tell me weak but I have hold on as much as possible.Just remember me...whenever you are feeling under the weather and you feel useless, broken,aline..just remember that simeone loved you...loved you fir your perfect personality,your habits,your flaws and immperfections..oh god you look so stunning..its the little things that matter.. The way you just wear that navy t-shirt of yours.. And the way you sat by the door drinking your coffee so artistically... Like you were just planning your whole future..and the way you ride your bike down the road.. Oh and your laugh..that smike that always gave me hope to be patuent...whenever you smile youur eyes sparkle and you become the most beautiful person in the world... I love you

Please listen ti the song Inside out by the next step (its a tv show)It means so much to me...I was listening to this song the firt time I saw you and I just play it on replay since then...every word is so magucal and just...ah I just adore it...