Remember Me (Teenlock)

Chapter Eight

Sherlock's POV

Everyone says I'm emotionless, thoughtless, and just don't care about anything worth caring about.

False.

Weeks had passed and with each moment I spent with John I knew that I had to be in love with him. I assume that is an emotion.

My thoughts had taken over my brain. And they almost all were about how I should've kissed John when was going to. But maybe he wasn't going to kiss me. He acted nonchalant about the whole situation and so it made me think, maybe he was just looking at my eyes so as to see how dark to line them with the black makeup. But it still wouldn't make sense, as he did get really really close and closed his eyes. Or was he just blinking and it seemed longer? Maybe I just wanted him to kiss me and that's why I thought he was actually going to. But I got scared, so whether or not he was going to, I pushed him away and reminded him of what he had started doing.

He had to have been about to kiss me. There really was no other explanation. And with each passing day, as I grew more in love with him, I wished I had let him.

As for caring, anyone could have been able to tell that John was who I cared most about. And I was so scared that someone was going to take him away. Or one day he would switch dorms. I was worried that he would see me like everyone else did.

A freak.

John's POV

I was in love with Sherlock Holmes.

I was in love with him, through and through.

Weeks had passed, and every day I wished that I had been quicker to kiss him, even though I was certain he wouldn't have wanted me to. I wish I had, even for just a moment, so I could know what it felt like. Just so I could be the only one who has kissed Mister Sherlock Holmes.

I didn't care if everyone found out that I wanted to kiss him. If I had, I would want everyone to know. I didn't care if that made us both freaks, I wanted the world to know that I, John Watson was in love with Sherlock Holmes. Love with a capital L.

Loving Sherlock was different though. I couldn't just ask, 'Hey there Sherlock, so, I really like you, and I was wondering if you'd want to be my boyfriend?' He was my friend, and asking him to be my significant other would definitely would make our friendship awkward. It was also different than when I fancied other girls. None of that made my heart beat out of my chest or want to spend every waking moment with them. And we never started out as just friends either.

Loving Sherlock wasn't just different, it was hard.

It was hard not to stare at him, he was beautiful. It was hard not to touch his hand. I seemed to touch his hand on accident much too often, doing it on purpose would be a sin. It was hard not to kiss him, or wrap my arms around him when we stayed the night in each other's dorms. It was hard to show affection to someone who didn't want any. (It was hard not to be hard around him.)

I needed to tell him that I loved him. But how do you tell someone like Sherlock that you liked him? Maybe I could ask Molly. No, I wouldn't ask Molly, Sherlock didn't much like her. He doesn't much like anyone, my brain reminded me. I could tell him through actions, but what would I do? I racked my brain for an answer. I could touch his hand on purpose. But when? I could wrap my arms around him, but he could easily pull away.

I could kiss him, but still came the question of when. But then I realised.

I always did his eyeliner for him.

Sherlock's POV

I had to tell him I loved him. But how would someone like me tell someone like John that I loved him? What if this whole thing passed? Maybe this was all just mere infatuation. But even as I thought it I knew it was much more than that.