Dear Momma

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Ellie's Point of View

"This is cute," my mother admires the ugly crap colored crib sheet before placing it into her cart. Since we walked into this mall, it has been nothing but going into shops that I don't want to shop in for the time being. "Selene, what if it is a girl? Brown will not work," Delphine says placing a very bright pink crib sheet into her cart.

"Neutrals all the way," Sage and Alex agree dumping a bunch of neutral greens and yellows into their cart. I disagree with their selections but don't dare say a word to either of them; just quietly observe as far behind as possible.

That is until I hear my name being called out, "Ellie, which one do you like better," My mother points between two car seat/stroller combinations. "The jogging one or the regular one," Delphine reads the fine print between the two. "C'mon mom, you know she needs the jogging one," Sage comments as mother gets an employee to place the set on her card.

"Wait, wait, hold up; what in god's name are you guys doing?" I asks fed up with these unnecessary purchases. "Why are you guys buying all these things? It is too early. Who knows maybe I will give it up or lose it or even worse want it? Why are you making me do this?" I yell at the four making a scene in the middle of the store. My emotions all over the place but the one common thing is my panic. My panic raises it all.

I run out of the suffocating store as fast as I can. Not caring if I run into people or their bags, as soon as I make it to the west side of the mall, my feet carry straight to the aroma of the food court. Not thinking straight I order the most expensive item on each restaurant menu. From pasta to meat to vegetables all sit unstirred in front of me. People look at me in amusement as I dig my fork into each thing. I feel my body level itself out as I start to eat the food. "Cravings?" a familiar voice laughs sitting across from me.

"What are you doing Trash?"

"I got an emergency call from my girlfriend, my best guy friend's mother and my best friend's sister and mother, all saying that my hormonal best friend had had a panic attack in the middle of a store," Trash explains picking up a fork and digging into some Chinese food. "So what's up, El?"

"I'm not ready for the shopping and the 'ohhs and ahhs' that come with this," I say in between bites, "I don't know what I am going to do. I'm scared to say the least."

Trash starts laughing. "Stop that," I say smacking him across the table. "You, Ellie Wills, are scared. C'mon, El, you aren't scared of anything. You are the toughest person I know, tougher than the world." Trash compliments, "Remember when you kicked that eighth grader's ass when we were only in fourth grade. I mean that guy was a good four times bigger than you and yet you made the whole eighth grade scared of you. I mean come on, if anything you are going to beat everything. The odds, the stares, the whispers; everything that is against you."

"How can you be sure?" I asks wiping away a few stray tears.

Trash moves his seat closer to me, pulling me into his arms he whispers, "Because you are El freaking Wills."

--

After Trash's and I's lunch, he calmly walks me back to the group of shoppers. We all get to the shopping fun we had come for. Leaving behind all those terrible kiddy stores, we went to the fun ones. Trash left saying he had to get back to work, but said if we needed anything then call again. "I love this," Sage admires a piece of lingerie.

"Clark will love it too," I awkwardly chime into the conversation going to the shirt selection of the store. "You can't spend the rest of your life in a t-shirt and yoga pants," Alex snickers.