An Oopsident

Chapter 1.

I'm lying on my back, feeling the sunshine warm my skin. It's beautiful out today, with a bright blue sky and cute puffy little clouds floating dreamily on by. The slight breeze gently stirs the soft green grass around me, and I sigh, content. Perfect.

I open my eyes and above me a large, purple dragon flies, doing flips and spewing bright red flames. Huh. I reach my hand out and wave to it. It looks down at me as it swoops over, and then frowns and sticks its tongue out at me!

"Hey!" I say, insulted. Stupid mean, purple dragon.

I hear a snuffling sound and then turn my head to see a snow white unicorn nibbling on the honeysuckle tree opposite me. The horn poking from it's head is glimmering, and I say, "Wow, you're pretty!"

"Hey, thanks," It responds in a deep baritone voice, turning to look at me. I smile. Now why couldn't that dragon be as nice as this unicorn? Suddenly, a shadow covers my head, blocking the sun's rays from my face. I turned around to tell whatever it was (be it an alien, a wizard or one of those damn sparkling vampires) to move his sorry fat butt out of the way, but what I saw had my mouth agape.

Taylor Lautner stood over me, glorious, shirtless, smiling, shirtless, godlike, shirtless, holding a bowl of gummy bears, SHIRTLESS. Totally flabbergasted, I just lay there for a full minute, my mouth flopping open as if unhinged. "Hey!" He said, and then sat down next to me.

"Hi!" I breathed, still dumbfounded. He smiled that absolutely gorgeous smile of his at me and then held the bowl of gummy bears out to me. The rainbow of chewy candies were all wriggling around, and arguing in little high pitched voices.

"I'm the best! Eat me, I'm orange!"

 "Nuh uh! I'm red! Red's the best flavor!"

"Eat me! I'm cute because I'm yellow!"

One green gummy bear turned around and punched the the yellow one (what a jerk!) and then shrieked in his teeny voice, "ALL OF YOU STUPID BUTTFACES SHUT UP! Why are you telling her to eat us?!" He turned around and glared at me (jeez, must be a grizzly gummy bear), "Hey you! Look at the shirtless dude!"

Oh yeah, a shirtless Taylor Lautner is sitting next to me. 

I turned my attention to the living personification of the word 'HOT'. He grinned at me gorgeously again, and I felt like I was going to die of over exposure from the intensity of such an abtastic body. While my eyes were taking him all in, and he was still smiling at me, holding the bowl of argumentative gummy bears, I felt something beside me.

"Excuse me," An unfamiliar voice said, and something tapped my shoulder. With disgruntled effort, I tore my unwilling eyes from the hotter-than-the-surface-of-the-sun-man.

It was that stupid, mean purple dragon. It's scaly, large face was a foot from mine, and I noticed, angrily, that he was squashing the honeysuckle tree under his big fat butt. "What do you want, stupid meanie? And get off the honeysuckle tree! And what'd you do with unicorn?"

The dragon gave me an evil smile and burped. I stared, horrified. "You ate the unicorn?!"

It's smile disappeared and he frowned. "Yeah, but it didn't taste that good. Like glitter, and rainbows..." It gave a disgusted shudder.

"You stupid meanie! Spit him out right now!"

The dragon shook his head. "Nah. Food's food, no matter how nasty it tastes. And besides, I'm here for a reason, buttstink." Buttstink? What the hell?

"And what reason is that? To ruin my glorious moment with shirtless Taylor Lautner?"

A milicious grin spread across the dragon's face, exposing his rows of huge, pointed teeth. "Exactly."