My addiction. You.

33. Sav's Burial

"Wah ah, gah" I giggle lightly at Elijah as he happily makes unknown words while getting his clothes on. Today we have decided to make a formal and traditional burial for Savanna Faith down at the graveyard near Ash & Lola's house. The weather is absolutely gorgeous, the sun shining brightly and the soft cold breeze making the trees sway and sing.

"Hey baby, you rea-," Chance halts in the doorway, his mouth open and his eyes full of lust and love as he looks at me. Astonished on how fast I cleaned up. It's been two weeks since the birth and since then, endless workouts have made my body toner and slowly losing my baby fat. Sweat, blood and tears have gone in those workouts at the gym and I have never felt better.

"Woah, wha- how ? You look absolutely killer in that dress." He says, absolutely blushing like an idiot. A cute idiot. I finish buttoning Elijah's outfit and hold him against me. I stroll towards my fiancé, smiling and leaning in for a kiss.
Before I make another step towards him, his arm reaches out...pulling me towards him in a swift motion.

His lips lock with mine and move willingly. Before I can withdraw my mind from its deep thoughts, his arms are tightly wrapped around my body. I instantly and tentatively feel again the rush of helplessness, the sinking yielding, the surging tide of warmth that left pay body, mind and mouth limp. His hand leaves my waste and caresses my jaw, holding me in place. The kiss is soft at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made me cling to him not wanting the sensual kiss to come to an end. His intoxicating insistent mouth parts my trembling lips, sending wild tremors along my nerves, evoking from my sensations I have never felt. Ever.

He hesitantly pulls back, drawing his thumb across my soft rosy cheek. Elijah squirms and giggles loudly, Chance pecks his nose and kisses my cheek before walking out the front door.
Before I leave the house, I grab a purple iris from the kitchen.

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I hold on to the thin stem connected to the purple iris that snugly fits on Savannas birth blanket that we never got to tuck her in. My eyes scan the sunlit grave yard. So many people have turned up to say goodbye to our little girl, there are a lot of faces I didn't recognise. It was easier to look at them.

I glance at my mother. The puffy red under her eyes easily tell me she'd been crying for a while, probably all night, maybe even every night since she had died. Chance's mother could barely stand. She was being held up by Lola and Asher and the constant painful frown on her wrinkly yet beautiful face forces me to look away.
I look up at Chance. He stares straight ahead, out at the forest. His face is perfectly still and serious, his eyes emotionless. I can see and tell how hard he is trying to hold it together for everyone, but the red puffy area underneath his gorgeous eyes, easily tell me he was recently crying his heart and soul out. He turns his face to look at me and I smile just a little, to reassure him I was here, I will always be here.

Elijah stands right beside the engraved gravestone not far from Chance and myself, facing the floor with his hands clasped together. It seems as if he knows and feels everything, his torn other side, lying in the casket.

'Today,' the vicar says softly, 'we bid farewell to our dear angel Savanna Faith. Granddaughter, goddaughter, cousin, twin sister and most importantly, beloved daughter.' Before the lowering of the coffin, Chance, Elijah and myself stroll towards the polished miniature coffin. Savanna's angelic face lies there, with soft baby hairs falling over her pale forehead.
Elijah jumps up towards me, reaching for the small bouquet of Iris flowers gifted to us from Lola.

Iris symbolizes eloquence. Purple iris is symbolic of wisdom and compliments.
Blue iris symbolizes faith and hope. Yellow iris symbolizes passion while white iris symbolizes purity.

Chance bends down to his knees, letting silent tears fall down his tear stained cheeks. I hold on to Elijah's hand as he softly and slowly puts the bouquet in Savanna's tiny hands. He wraps her fingers around the petite stem. 'Sissy sissy! Sleep well,' Elijah churns, kissing her gently on the nose bud. He then turns around and runs to a crying Lola, jumping in her wide arms.
Chance stands up straight and sniffles, bending down towards Sav, kissing her heavenly face. Before letting go, he caresses her face and stares into her closed eyes. He recites the poem I adore.

'If my love for you was an ocean,
there would be no more land.
If my love for you was a desert,
you would see only sand.
If my love for you was a star-
late at night, only light.
And if my love for you could grow wings,
I'd be soaring in flight.'

He kisses her forehead once more, before stepping back and nodding in gesture for me to go now.
I gradually walk towards her, wiping my eyes, I bend down to her level. I look around and open my mouth haste fully.

'My small family and I are extremely happy to see so many friends, family and supportive people here today. Your love and support means so much to us. For those of you who don't know me and my family, my name is Adriana and I am Savanna's mother. Chance is her loving and adoring father and Elijah, is her fraternal twin.
From the moment Chance and I found out we were pregnant we were overjoyed, and a little overwhelmed. I know Savanna will be looking down on her family, her brother and parents who will always, always, love her.

Elijah will always have his twin by his side, watching him through everything as he grows and grows into a handsome little man. I can imagine Savanna being a protective sister a bright, smiley, passionate little girl who cared immensely for everyone around her. Even though no one saw her gorgeous angelic face, she leaves behind a beautiful blessing for the rest of our lives. Savanna Faith, we will all miss you with all of our hearts. God bless you & we love you princess.'

I kiss her little nose and stand back, holding my hands together against my dress. The mini coffin is lowered into the ground and as it slowly disappears, I sob and cover my mouth.
Chance's mother runs towards me and pulls me into a tight hug.
This pain was killing me.
I glance back at Chance again and his chin is trembling. For a moment, I stare at him, as Lola hands Elijah to him and cradles him.
His breath comes in a gasp and his lips tightens, then he speaks.
'Goodbye, babygirl,' he whispers.
And then his body crumples, he sags to the ground, hunched over, and I immediately pull back from his mother and kneel beside him. He lifts his hand to cover his face; he doesn't want them to see. I pull him in, holding his face to my chest.
Our grief is private and I have to shield him from the crowd. Elijah cuddles in too, playing with my dress lightly, his face is blunt and his rosy cheeks are pale as snow.

He might be young, but he knows he lost his other half physically.
* * * * * * * * * * * *

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