I woke up this morning and thought. "Today is going to be my last day. I'm going to die." And I started crying. Because I'm so scared, not of dying. Of being forgotten. I always joke about how I want to die flying a plane and crashing it when im 80. My friends laugh and say that they just want to die of old age. I only want to die that way b/c people will remember that. A crazy old bat in a plane crash. I'm sobbing right now. I dont want to die. Not yet. I want to fall in love, catch the bad guys, have three billion kids, and love them all to death. I can't die yet. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to not wake up. I want to feel. I'm so sick if being empty.
And I can't stop crying, b/c I'm remembering that once, I was so full of energy and bubbly... How did that confident girl turn into this mess that is me?
