The Fighter Meets The Alpha

~22~

Max's POV-

I am better, but no where near good, let alone great. I have been trying to look happy and not depressed, but I seem to be failing because every one who comes near me looks at me with concern and worry.

I wake up in the middle of the night screaming. I feel terrible having to keep Logan up with me until I fall back asleep. He is so worn down from everything, me, taking take of the pack and everyone in it and school. 

We all went back to school and did out best to catch up on everything we missed recently. We all are doing out best but it's difficult. Thankfully we have each other to depend on for help in out classes. As bas as it is, I use the school work as an excuse to get out of doing stuff with the others. 

I am distancing myself from everyone, including Lana... I'm not meaning to, it's just sort of happening. 

Sometimes I feel like I am the only person who can take care of me and understand me. It's true, though, but it doesn't mean others don't understand some of it. People have their loses and I have mine. But everything I have gone through already in my short life, I don't think many people can understand much.

Currently I have sitting in the living room in a window seat staring off into the woods, think about my life and the "what ifs" in it and what could've happened in it other then this.

Logan hasn't left me at all, for two weeks straight. It was until I demanded him to go do his job. I feel so bad that I am such mood killer and having people constantly watching me to make sure I do nothing rash to myself or others is starting to get annoying. I'm not going to do anything.

The only time I leave the house is for school and even then I might as well not go. I haven't been taking care of myself much lately and I have pretty much cut myself off with contact of any kind. It's getting out of hand even for me.

I thought before was bad. I thought it couldn't get worse then it was, but I couldn't be more wrong. I am disappointed in myself for acting like this. I'm depressed about everything, but mostly myself and my past. Nothing good has every come to me in my past. The only good things in my life is Logan and meeting these wonder people who took me in and accepted me. All of me, flaws and all.

Staring out the window, tears well up in my eyes for no apparent reason. Drip by drip the tears slowly fall down my cheek. I didn't even here anyone come into the room until something touched my shoulder. I flinched away from the touch and looked up. Logan was frowning, I don't think at me, but at something.

Logan brought his hands to my face and I leaned into his touch as he wiped the stray tears away.

"Why are you crying?" Logan murmured to me.

"I don't know what to o anymore, Logan," I told him truthfully. "Everyone here is too good to me."

"Max, you're family now. We are going to take care of you," he stated as he sat down beside me. I scooted towards him and laid my head on his shoulder.

I am letting my past control who I am and what I used to be. I am sick of being watched like a small child and being treated like I'm going to something. What I need is to be pushed forward, not babied. I need to get past everything and live the present with everyone in it. I'm not going to be a person who mopes around living in the past.

That's going to stop. Starting tomorrow. Even if it's just small, I'm going to get passes my past and start living again. 

I opened my eyes, determination burning in them as I looked up at Logan. When he looked down at me, his eyes widened. He seemed to noticed my change in demeanor.