Hello, Mr. Darcy #NewAdult

Denial

              Chapter 23   
  

            I was tired.

           Honest to God, both mentally and physically exhausted. The Darcy situation took so much out of me in a matter of few hours. I didn't think I could take anymore drama for at least a year.

          The irony of knowing that just a few months ago the only drama in my life was trying to figure what I was going to do with myself and how I was going to manage to get the fvck out of Texas. If only that was the case now. Admittedly, my former lifestyle wasn't ideal, but now I ended up with drama so over my head that I found myself unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that shit was annoying.

           I had woken up in the middle of the night and wasn't able to fall back to sleep again. Darcy was holding on to me so tightly that I couldn't move as if he thought holding me this way meant I wouldn't leave. I felt just a tiny bit suffocated and I needed to unchain myself from his deathly grip to be able to breathe.

           Never would I have thought that a room as big as the one I was currently in, would seem so constraint. I was sure Darcy would understand my wanting to leave, but just in case he didn't, I walked up to the notepad that was sitting on the table and wrote down a little note before silently walking out of the room, already clothed.

         This night had been the most intense night of my life and that was frightening. Darcy and I official entered a scary stage in our relationship. A stage of vulnerability and rawness that left us both weak and begging, just begging to be able to make it out with as less emotional scars as possible.

           As fvcked as it had been, Darcy showed me that he needed me, that in a way, my absence troubled him as much as not seeing him fucked me up. At some point in the night, I came to a conclusion that our relationship, whatever that was defined by, was what could be seen as dysfunctional. And yet, I craved for more.

          Why was it that seeing Darcy lose himself this way brought me pleasure? Why was it that after the initial fear of dying, all I wanted was to be kissed, held, and touched by him? Why did I not ever want him to let go?

        I heard a squeak of the door coming from the guest room as I walked towards the living room. I frowned and  tried to see who that might be. Darcy hadn't told me someone was there and if that was a burglar--which I doubt it was--I wanted him to at least know that someone was there.

         “Who's there?” I asked, squinting to be able to see in the dark as a body appeared from the bedroom. If this were a scary movie, I would be the blonde girl who was known to run towards the danger. The one who died first...even before the black person. Hollywood had a shitty tendency of killing black people in movies, first.

          “Charlotte, it's me.” The person answered which I noticed could have only been a woman as the light came on.

           I frowned and kept squinting my eyes to see the person standing in front of me. “Jemma?” I asked and tried harder to see, not quite believing what was clearly in front of me. Were my eyes betraying me?  Of course not, that was just simply wishful thinking.

          “I'm sorry, wait...why...how?...” I stopped talking for second to regroup my thoughts. I knew that I wasn't making much sense then, so I shook my head quickly before trying again.

          "Jemma..." I was trying, She cut me off though. Probably for the best because I didn't know for sure what I wanted to say or ask.

         “I've been here for a week now, I'm here to visit Darcy for a bit.” She answered as she smiled slightly.

         I shook my head again, realizing that I had been doing a lot of that, why was I not surprised? Total Darcy move right there. And plus they were having a baby, it was bound to happen and the fact that I had been absent from his life showed.

          “Oh that's...great. it's great.” I said a little too happily to be anything but fake, which I resented myself for. “I gotta...you know what? Hold that thought.” I raised a finger while keeping my fake ass smile on my face. I then turned around and almost ran back to Darcy's bedroom.

          “Hey,” I hit his leg so that he would wake up and I would ask him the burning questions on the tip of my tongue. “Hey, wake up.” I pulled his leg none too gently. That got a movement from him as he turned on his back.

           “What the hell, Charlotte?” He groaned as he helped himself up and in a sitting position. He was squinting his eyes, the same way I had done it earlier, but his was because he was still sleepy.

          “Jemma is here? When were you going to tell me?” I growled while staring at his sleepy face. He still looked handsome even sleepy and shit.

          “Well, I'm sorry, but maybe next time when you take a three weeks break from a relationship you're in, you'll think about the changes that occur behind your back. I don't owe you an explanation.” He answered as he was getting off the bed. Son of a bitch. Son of a goddamn bitch. No offense to his mother, of course.

          I pointed a finger at him while my eyes never left him. “Screw you, Darcy. I'm out of here.” I turned around quickly and left him in his room while he was putting on his pants.

           “Oh Come on, Charlotte.” He called out behind me, but the hell if I was going to stop. I was gone.

          I hadn't realized Jemma had stayed standing at the same spot I had left her in, until I walked out. I stopped for a second before her, not really knowing what to say. What could have had said? This whole situation was awkward.

          “Uhm...Good night.” Was what I settled on and quickly walked passed her, and a second later, I was out the door, shutting it behind me before finally taking a deep breath. This son of bitch. Again, no offense to his mother.

           I wanted to be upset, but by the end of the night, after everything that happened, I just didn't have any more fights left in me. I was just done, so very tired. So instead of being mad, I just got into my waiting Uber and went home.

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          Jemma was in New York, what I feared was already happening and it felt like I just got kicked in the freaking guts. How dare he not tell me anything? I had wanted not to get upset, but the more I thought about it, the more I got mad and irritated.

           As I walked into my apartment, I tried my very best to be as quiet as possible so that I wouldn't wake Rose. But the minute I walked into my bedroom, I found her sprawled on the bed.

           “Hey,” I smiled at her as I saw her worried face try to comprehend what was happening. She sat down.

           “Hey, what happened yesterday? Where did you go? I've called your phone like crazy but you weren't answering which scared the shit out of me. I thought something had happened to you.”

           “I know, I'm sorry, Rose. I just went to go see Darcy and I just didn't hear my phone ring. It must have been on vibrate when you called.” I explained while taking the shirt that I was wearing off, Darcy's shirt to be precise since he had destroyed my own just a few hours ago.

          “Jesus, Char, what happened to you?” She asked and got off the bed to stand behind me, in front of the long mirror in my bedroom.

          Oh hell, now I had to explain the shit to Rose, who I was sure as hell wouldn't understand. And to be honest, I was so out of it. I didn't think I could argue any more than I did tonight cause with all the drama, I was spent.

         Thank God my phone started vibrating the minute I opened my mouth. I was sure it was Darcy so let it freaking ring, let him be mad. I didn't even care then.

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Can we all agree that their relationship is so dysfunctional? I mean like dang!!! Anyways... I LOVE YOU GUYS!! Don't forget to vote and comment.

K, byeeeeee :)