Writing in Reverse

Where to Begin...

Where to Begin...

Well, first of all, before anyone reads on, please know I'm not trying to make this sounds at all like I'm professional, that I deserve anything at all, or have the right to tell you how to write.  This is something for me personally and the only reason I'm sharing this part of my life with you is because you, my faithful readers, are now a part of my life.  I also don't really have much of an issue at all sharing this with anyone so I figured, why not?  Maybe it could help someone, maybe it would be interesting... I don't know and I honestly don't care because this is something I will look back on and recognize as my start towards my ultimate dream - to write for a living and enjoy doing it.

Unlike my stories, this is real so don't get excited for anything spectacular happening.  This is just the story of my writing and how I began up to where I am now.  It will cover some of my thought processes, ideas, and, if you haven't read a story of mine and were planning to, this might not be for you to read because spoilers are probably a guarantee (considering I will be revisiting everything I wrote and my thoughts throughout the story).   So don't say I didn't warn you.

Since this is about how I started writing and how I got certain ideas, we can start with this: Writing in Reverse.  As I'm writing this right now, I can say that I honestly came up with the name of this journal out of nowhere no more than an hour ago. Besides that,  I picked this title because that's what's happening, I guess you could say.  I'm going back and writing about the beginning and how I got to where I am now. 

I like photography because it can take you back to the past, hold memories in pictures, and I'm writing this to remind myself later on of how I changed and became a better person, how I started on my path towards my goal of one day becoming a writer.

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It started with an idea for a story that came out of nowhere.  I was in my history class in eighth grade. At the time I had no respect for the subject because the teacher was an air head and didn't know what she was teaching.  I guess I can have her to thank for my first idea because it came about from simply zoning out. 

There was no drive in me to write, to do anything involving story telling.... I was very different from how I am now and that idea was something that would later change me. At the time, I thought nothing besides, 'wow, that's a good idea' and I didn't want to forget it; it was huge and complex and unique. It involved the idea of reincarnation and twisting time; it was unique to any supernatural story I read in the past.  So I wrote it down on a piece of paper, not knowing what to do with it.  Writing wasn't something that snapped into my head.  It ended up in the back of my closet where it would remain untouched and not thought about for over a year.

At that time, I was several years into my depression and I didn't see an end to it.  I was miserable and still didn't know how to deal with it after so many years.  I had friends that didn't try to communicate, relate to me, or even hold there end in a conversation.  They didn't feel comfortable with anything!  They were nice, don't get me wrong.  That just didn't help me and were in their own little worlds of being perfect students with no ounce of fun or freedom - which I sadly reflected.    That's why later I would find writing helpful: it was fun and an escape to things that I missed out on, where I could live on through the characters.

At the end of that school year, I did my first ballsy move I ever made.  I was quiet, the dork in glasses, polite, good in school, I was overweight and stayed away from people. People then liked to automatically assume I was a goody two-shoes and a lot of people still do see me that way - some innocent kid that wouldn't dare say a cuss word.  I was sick of it and sick of my shitty friends at the time.  I wanted to do something reckless and act on it for the first time.