Writing in Reverse

Support and Confidence

At this point, I was fairly popular I suppose.  I made some friends and had votes, comments, and enough reads to be satisfying. But it didn't compare in knowing the support I was being directly given by my readers. 

Of course, I don't write for just the reader's enjoyment but for mine.  I don't post every time someone tells me to, I post whenever I have the time.  I don't do dedications either for the fact that I think dedications are meant for offering up acknowledgement to those who actually had a part in the writing - and none of my readers do.  

However, something I value very highly here on Wattpad are the comments my readers leave me.  The fact that I can always depend on an opinon, on someone telling me what they thought of a chapter, or even what they didn't like.  It always annoys me when some of the writers on here don't bother to read their fan's comments because 'there just isn't enough time' or even just somehow show their appreciation to their fans by communicating back.  And that's why I read every comment and take time to reply back to the ones that I find I should reply back - because my readers deserve it and I find it just as enjoyable. Though I don't reply back for a majority, that doesn't mean I don't read my reader's comments and appreciate them.  It just means there is no need for a reply for some, plain and simple.

During Island Rush, I got a number of complaints.  A number of people gave me 'corrections' and tried helping and some people were just showing me the opposite of respect.  And though I sometimes got mad at that, I needed to respect that.  Even when someone is criticizing me, I respect it and take that into account when they are respectful about it.  But what about the ones that aren't?  It was something I had a hard time with at first. 

When I wasn't use to getting comments that often early on, I wasn't use to their full effect they could have on me.  I wasn't stupid though.  I knew better than to think everyone would enjoy my story.  In fact, I'm glad some don't like it otherwise, if everyone liked it, it wouldn't show the contrast I was trying to create.  It needed mixed reactions because it was something I wanted to make unique to every individual differently so that was okay, to get mixed reviews and responses.  Either way though, when I did receive a negative comment, I didn't let it bother me too much after I learned that it could help....

Many writers are afraid to disappoint their readers, to receive a bad comment, and sometimes that sways the writer to go out of their way to make the reader happy, even if not right for the story.  And that writer couldn't be making a bigger mistake. You write for your story and you first, your readers after that.  And it doesn't matter what they have to say about the story, to be honest.  Do I love hearing what people think, do I take advice, do I talk and listen and try to learn from it... absolutely!  The support I received is one of the best things about Wattpad but when it comes to the story, the readers don't have a say in what happens in your story.  Your story is yours, not your readers, so if they can't respect some of the decisions made as a writer... well, that's just too bad for their sake.  You make choices based on the story, not what the reader is begging for.

However, I have come to really respect a lot of what my readers have to say.  And it truly does help me through the day to get comments.  I am always smiling when reading them and after Island Rush, I was starting to get more with the start of a new story.  Most people probably wont understand how much the comments I reclieve means to me.  I don't have anybody I know reading my work so I truly value every single comment, because I never had that before.  And I really want to thank my readers and fans for that.  They may not have a part in the actual writing process of the story but they have a part in what I take from it because my readers are the different sets of eyes I need.  I rely on them for more than they probably think. 

I couldn't have been anymore thankful for the support I gained.  Because it gave me what I didn't have at the start of Island Rush: a push and excitement to see what some people thought for the fact that there was people!  I was a ways from my goal but I never figured I would get people telling me they loved my stories, thought they could be published, and telling me they can connect and understand.  It really boasted my confidence while writing Island Rush and it gave me the excitement by the time I was writing my next story. 

Confidence... now, that to me is key. 

I had a lot of confidence from the time I started writing, from before I even was a member on Wattpad, and it was for the fact that I knew I had such a good story, that I knew I could write well.  I know it makes me sound a little snotty but I thought highly of my writing, even as I criticized it.  I knew there were holes, huge ones, but I knew being 15 then 16 that I was far, especially at having read stories less interesting and less developed than mine that have been published.  And that made me so sure of myself, of what I was doing, especially when first starting out.

At realizing this was what I wanted to do for a living, I felt so powerful and I knew, knew with everything that I could get published.  And that confidence moved on through Island Rush.  I knew it was a mess, that it was sloppy, but at the same time, I knew it was better than some of the other stories I have read on here.  I knew I was good and that was confidence, confidence I had in myself at knowing I could improve, I could do this, I could get published....

At the beginning of Handcuffed Love, that confidence went through the roof and I think it helped a lot in creating that story.  Because with the power I felt in myself, I didn't worry over things I was before.  I was a better writer and I was ready to show it with an even better plot.  However, with confidence as strong as mine, it can blind some people.

I'm not stupid.  I realized how the world worked and knew that even though I have the potential to get published, it might not happen.  Even as a good writer, the world in getting published is hard.  People try to change your story sometimes to make it more 'appealing' to readers.  And that is where your work is turned into a product in a way, just for selling and I think that is compete BS. 

So publishing... something I want but something that I know will be hard because I will refuse to change anything in my stories.  But I have this strange way I see myself later on.  And that is either as successful in writing or not.  But if I'm not, that's okay because I will still be writing, even if I can't get published in my free time - which is a very realistic future.  However, for me personally, its also a gut feeling that I can get published....

It's the only thing I want to do but this world isn't perfect.  There is no room to bitch about it though, you accept it and I do. It's fine if I can't get published because I'm not blind enough to not see how slim of a chance that is.

But confidence is a powerful thing and though I know it might not happen, I can only do what I can to make it work out.  After Island Rush, I knew that this was for sure my goal.  Hell, it was since the very beginning but at completing a book, starting another with no hesitation, I knew I could do it. I could handle doing this as a living and whether that happens or not, I will keep trying.

Stephen King was denied dozens of times when he submitted books to hopefully be published.  He was rejected repeatedly and was constantly submitting to publishers only to be rejected some more, as were hundreds of other writers that later came to be successful.  You can bet that will be me someday.