Ana's Little Slave

Annabelle's Pov

Here I was again. Unconcious and alone. EVerything is numb and blank. I am so alone. I know Gage came to try to save me but I think he left soon after he arrived. I could only here muffled sounds and I could only feel my hand slowly twitch. I wonder where I am? Or what time it is? Am I in the hospital? Did my mom walk in and find my dead body? Did I go crazy and continue to cut myself without even knowing? Did I take any of the pills? Maybe the side affect was hallucinations. Maybe I am dead. Is this what death would feel like? Would death feel like nothing? Would you be just sitting there feeling nothing, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, only having your thoughts? I have so many questions. I can't even hear the muffled sounds anymore. There weren't any voices from Ana or any other person I coukd think of . I can't help but think death would be a relief, I know that probably sounds terrible but its true. I really just want it to be over with. I feel so worthless and fat and terrible everyday and I am so sick of it. I know people are probably standing around me right now praying I wake up, praying that I'll be okay, but I think I know now that I won't be. I wasn't meant to be alive, I was meant to be a memory, a story that people tell there children to scare them into eating. I wonder if anyone else feels this way, if anyone else feels this emptiness and loneliness. I hope no one does, I hope no one ever feels like their world is caving in around them and that if they move or try or exist that they will come crashing down because it honestly is a sickening feeling. If I ever wake up from this I don't think I will be able to change who I have become, even if who I've become isn't who I want to be. I do not have anorexia... I am anorexia.