Chapter 5 : 18 Years Old [ Having Understood The Truth II ]

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Second Hospital Stay

(Nagoya Health University Hospital)

This time, the main tasks will be checking the progress of my disease, having injections of a new medicine, and undergoing rehabilitation. The difference from the previous stay is that I've been asked not to go out alone (because of the danger of falling down).

When I went to the toilet, I glanced outside over the window-sill. I felt depressed when I saw the gray walls and black buildings.

"Why do you look so tired?" asked the nurse who was accompanying me.

My nystagmus (involuntary movement of the eyeballs to left and righ

t) is becoming more conspicuous these days. I had an eye check in the room for brain wave tests. The doctor there has a bad leg, too. It struck me that I could work if only I had at least one part of my body that functioned properly.

"Why are you putting that cream on?" I asked.

"Because you're having checkup," the doctor replied.

That answer struck me as a bit off the mark. I wonder if he responds like that to ordinary people? Perhaps I look stupid because I have both a physical handicap and a speech disorder.

Dr. Yamamoto took me to Nagoya University Hospital in her car to carry out further tests. If I suddenly look right gazing forward, the red ball I can see 

gets blurred, divided into two parts. This time I tried looking left all of a sudden. The degree of blur was less on the left. As I thought, the disorder of my right motor nerves is progressing more. In the car, I told Dr. Yamamoto that after the injection I don't feel sick like I used to and I was wondering if that meant the new medicine was no longer working on me. I also told her that although my Achilles tendon seemed to have softened, my speech disorder was getting worse.

"As for the speech disorder," she sad, "the best thing is to finish saying what you want to right up to the end, even though you may find it difficult to pronounce all the words. Ideally, people will get accustomed the way you speak."

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