1 Liter of Tears (Ichi Litre No Namida)

Chapter 7 : 20 Years Old [ "I don't want to be beaten . . ." II ]

Looking for a hospital

Today, Mom and I went to Nagoya Health University Hospital. I lay on the passenger seat with the back lowered.

I mostly dozed till we arrived at the hospital.

"I'll push them to let you stay here," said Mom, "so don't worry. I know the heat's bothering you, but you'll

just have to be patient till the weather gets cooler. Aya you have a lot of fight left in you. I'm sure you'll

get better."

But I felt that this time I might not last: I have neither the stamina nor the motivation. I don't even have

the strength to think, so I couldn't possibly put up a fight. I don't want to be beaten by my disease, but the

demon of ill-health is too strong.

As I lay on the ward trolley, Mom was negotiating with an outpatient nurse, trying to keep me from overhearing:

"We can't possibly wait in the waiting room as long as we usually have to. She's so weak. Please treat her

as an emergency patient and give her a medical examination quickly. If the other patients are unhappy about it,

I'll gladly explain her condition to each one of them and ask for their approval."

The nurse disappeared inside the consultation area, saying "I'll ask Dr. Yamamoto." Moments later, Dr. Yamamoto

herself appeared. She took hold of my hand and said, "Ah, long time no see, Little Aya. I've been waiting for

you."

Oh, this will keep me going . . .

It would be a pity to die now . . .

If only I could write again, I wouldn't have anything to regret . . .

Saved by Dr. Yamamoto yet again . . .

Tears filled my eyes. Mom was crying, too.

After the consultation, Dr. Yamamoto said she would introduce us to Akita Hospital in Chiryu City where she goes

twice a month for medical examinations.

I felt relieved when she said, "Little Aya, I think you should enter the hospital as soon as things have been

prepared for you. Please wait just a little. I want you to be where I can keep an eye on you."

My upper lip was bent when I fell over, and now it won't meet with my lower lip. I handed the doctor a memo that

I'd written at home:

'It's difficult for me to swallow, so please give me some medicine to relieve the tension in my throat.'

After the examination, Mom drove me home. I vibrated in the car for two hours.

"You have to gain stamina," Mom said. "Tell us anything - anything you want to eat or anything you may be able

to eat. Do you want something now?"

"Yes, I'd like you to bake me a cake," I answered.

"Uh-oh," replied Mom. "Ako's better at baking cakes than I am. Ako, Aya would like you to bake her a cake!"

"Then I'll make you one first thing in the morning," said Ako, all smiles. "Please look forward to that."

I was exhausted and went to bed immediately.

Mom visited Akita Hospital by herself. Before she left, she told me that she'd check what kind of hospital it

was and talk with the doctors in detail. She also told my sister to ask me what I would need, sort out some

things for me, and put them in a box.