The first thing I see when I wake up the next morning is a pair of large, brown eyes watching me intently.
A slow smile creeps onto Cheryl’s face when she sees that I’m awake and she immediately leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to my lips, “Good morning”
I smile warmly at her display of affection, “Good morning to you too”
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you look while you’re sleeping?” she asks.
“Not really” I answer rolling over slightly to get a better view of her, “it’s kind of difficult to see myself when I’m asleep but I can’t imagine that bed hair and snoring are particularly attractive qualities.”
“You don’t snore babe and I happen to think the bed hair is rather cute.” Cheryl giggles, reaching out a hand to lovingly ruffle my hair. Her hand moves down to my hip, fingertips slowly tracing over the natural curve of my body again and again.
After a few moments Cheryl glances up at me, stilling the movement of her hand as she looks deep into my eyes, “Last night was really special.” she says.
“It was” I agree, bringing her hand up to my lips and kissing it, “It’s just...are you still sure?” I ask tentatively.
Dark eyebrows come together in confusion, “Sure about what?”
“This” I gesture back and forth between Cheryl and myself.
“Why wouldn’t I be sure about us?” she frowns, her brown eyes searching mine.
When I don’t answer her, Cheryl brings a hand up to gently cup my cheek, “Kimberley, no-one has ever made me feel the way you do. Of course I’m sure - I love you” she claims my lips in a sweet kiss, calming all my insecurities at once.
Cheryl moves to lie on top of me and kisses down my neck to my collar bone, lightly nipping at the skin there. The sensation that travels through my body makes me sigh with anticipation and Cheryl stops what she’s doing to smile up at me.
I put a hand around the nape of Cheryl’s neck, pulling her face towards mine, “I’m sorry for doubting you” I whisper against her lips.
“Don’t be” she says, closing the distance between us, “I kind of like that you worry; it means I don’t have to.”
Her lips meet mine and small hands start to roam over my body, lightly caressing each and every curve they find. A quiet moan escapes my lips as Cheryl continues to lavish me with attention; covering me with soft kisses and gentle touches that soon have me tumbling over the edge, Cheryl clinging on to me as I fall.
Her arms stay wrapped around me as I settle back onto the bed and Cheryl pulls me tight into her, pressing a kiss to my temple before quietly stating, “I really am in love with you”
*****************************************
Cheryl looks around the fairground in wonder, taking in all the different stalls and rides as we walk hand in hand along the grass, “Kimba look, they’ve got a twister!” she says excitedly, tugging on my hand, “Can we go on it?”
I look over at the ride in question, watching it spin around at a stomach churning speed and then back at Cheryl, whose face is lit up like the proverbial child on Christmas morning.
“Sure babe” I answer weakly, hoping that my stomach and I are able to endure the fast paced ride.
We make our way over to the twister and stand in the queue; Cheryl humming along to the loud dance music that is blasting from the ride operator’s booth at an ear splitting level. Eventually the ride slows down and comes to a stop. When all the people have gotten off, the barrier at the front of the queue is opened and the line of people begins to move forward.
Cheryl takes out her purse to pay the attendant who is coming around to collect everyone’s fare and we climb into the first available car we see. Pulling the safety bar closed, I give it a firm tug to make sure it is secure and then sit back in my seat while we wait for the ride to start.
When all the cars are full the music changes to another up-tempo dance track and the ride creaks slightly as it begins to move. “Here we go” Cheryl smiles.
It starts off pretty slowly but soon picks up speed. I hang on tightly to the safety bar and try to hold myself still so I don’t get thrown around too much by the jerky movements of the ride.
Beside me Cheryl laughs with delight as the ride gets faster and the music gets louder, thumping in my ears every time we whizz past one of the large speakers dotted around the perimeter of the ride. My eyes have trouble focusing on anything as we spin around and I start to feel a bit dizzy and light headed. Leaning into Cheryl, I close my eyes and hope that the ride will be over soon.
Cheryl puts a protective arm around my shoulder and holds me tight into her. The dizziness fades a little once my eyes are closed and I decide to stay in this position until the ride stops. Eventually we slow down a little and I sit up and open my eyes, only to squeeze them tightly shut again when the ride operator announces over the sound system that we are now going to go backwards.
The colour has completely drained from my cheeks by the time we get off the ride and Cheryl’s face is a picture of concern as she takes me over to a nearby bench and sits me down, “I’m really sorry babe” she says, “I never should have made you go on it.”
“It’s not your fault Cheryl. I’ll be fine in a few minutes.”
“Do you want me to get you a bottle of water or something?” she asks.
“Yes please” I answer, unzipping my jacket a little to cool myself down.
Cheryl heads off towards one of the many refreshment stands and I lean forwards to rest my head in my hands, hoping that the dizziness will fade soon.
“Didn’t expect to see you here” says a familiar voice.
I don’t even need to look up to know who it is, “Justin”
“I kind of thought you would have called by now Kimba” he says, sitting down next to me, lightly brushing my leg as he does so.
I move up the bench a little, putting some distance between us, “I told you we weren’t doing that anymore J, why would I be calling you?”
“I dunno” he shrugs, “I thought you might have changed your mind.”
“Well I haven’t.” I answer bluntly, “and I’m not going to. I’m with somebody now and I’m really happy.”
He shrugs again before changing the subject and attempting to make small talk, “So how have you been anyway? Still working with Nadine?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Cheryl heading back with two bottles of water in her hand. She pauses for a second when she sees me talking to Justin before continuing to walk over with less confidence.
“Yeah, I still work with Nadine” I answer quickly, standing up just as Cheryl reaches us.
She hands me a bottle of water and looks suspiciously at Justin, who also stands up and approaches Cheryl with his hand outstretched.
“Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met before. I’m Justin” he says, shaking hands with a reluctant Cheryl, “Kimberley never told me she had such beautiful friends” he adds with a wink.
Cheryl smiles politely before pulling her hand back from his grasp and looking over at me questioningly.
I give her a reassuring smile before turning back to Justin, “Justin this is Cheryl, my girlfriend.”
After a few seconds the emphasis I put on the word girlfriend seems to register with him and he raises his eyebrows in surprise, “Girlfriend?” he repeats in disbelief, “as in girlfriend, girlfriend?”
Cheryl begins to look a little uncomfortable with the conversation so I take her by the hand before answering confidently, “Yes, my girlfriend.”
“Jesus, Kimberley!” he exclaims in shock, “Is that why you finished with me, to be with her?”
Cheryl’s head quickly turns from Justin to me at the realisation that he’s my ex, “Kimberley?” she says uncertainly.
“No, that’s not why I finished with you” I snap, “You know why I ended it and it has nothing to do with Cheryl. I wasn’t even with her then”
Cheryl lets go of my hand and takes a step back as the exchange with Justin becomes increasingly heated. I know how much she hates confrontation but I refuse to let Justin throw accusations around about us.
“And I’m supposed to believe that?” Justin yells, “For all I know, you could have been seeing her behind my back. You used to kick me out the front door so fast when we were done that I wouldn’t put it past you! God knows, it wouldn’t be the first time you cheated on someone!”
The thing about Justin is that he always knew just which buttons to press when we were having an argument and it’s evident that he still possesses that skill. I don’t even realise that I’ve slapped him until I see him bring a hand up to his reddened cheek, eyes wide with shock.
Angry tears spill from my eyes and turning on my heels, I stomp off in the opposite direction, looking over my shoulder after a few steps to check if Cheryl is following me.
She is.
Once the initial wave of anger has passed a few minutes later, I slow my pace and Cheryl half-jogs to catch up, falling into step alongside me, “Are you ok?” she asks.
I shake my head, “I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”
Cheryl stays quiet and it’s only then that I remember everything she’s been through and the fact that she’s just witnessed me, her new partner, hitting someone.
“I didn’t mean to hit him. He just made me so angry.” I say, wondering how many times Cheryl has heard words similar to those in the past.
Still Cheryl doesn’t say anything and the thought of her being afraid of me makes my stomach lurch, stopping me dead in my tracks. Taking her gently by the arms, I turn Cheryl towards me, “Babe, you know that I’d never hit you, don’t you?”
Cheryl nods and wraps her arms around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder as she hugs me close, “I know; you just startled me a little, that’s all. I wasn’t expecting you to hit him.”
A fresh wave of tears fall and Cheryl brings a hand up to the back of my head, gently stroking my hair as I attempt to compose myself, “I’m so sorry baby, I didn’t mean to frighten you” I manage to say through my tears.
“It’s ok” she says, “I think I was more shocked that anything else.”
“I was pretty shocked myself. I don’t know what came over me.”
**********************************************************
Cheryl passes me a cup of tea and sits down on the sofa, balancing her own cup on her knee as she adjusts the cushions behind her. When she is comfortable, she looks up at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak.
Both of us had decided on the way home that we need to talk about a few things when we get in from the fair; starting with Justin.
I take a sip of my tea while gathering my thoughts and trying to decide on the best place to start, “We were together for just over four years.” I say eventually, “He used to live here with me and for quite a long time we were happy together.”
“What changed?” Cheryl asks.
“We just grew apart and eventually I stopped loving him. He didn’t feel the same way about me anymore either.”
“But you were still sleeping with him?”
“Yeah” I cringe a little at how that must sound, “I ended it with him the night that Ashley....the night he found you at the bar.”
“Oh” Cheryl brings her teacup up to her lips, taking a sip before exhaling shakily at the memory of that night.
“I haven’t spoken to him since that night. For a while the whole no strings attached thing kind of worked for us but I couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t want to.”
“Justin mentioned something....something about you...cheating?” Cheryl hesitates, gauging my reaction to the comment that earned my ex a slap round the face earlier.
“That was a long time ago” I sigh, not wanting to relive that particular chapter of my life, “It’s not something I’m proud of.”
Cheryl’s eyebrows come together in confusion and she frowns, “Justin must have forgiven you though, I mean the two of you were still, you know.”
For a brief moment, I consider letting Cheryl think that that was what happened; that I cheated on Justin, he forgave me and we continued to meet up every now and then for casual sex. It would probably be an easier story for her to swallow and far less complicated to explain.
But she deserves to know the truth. I owe her that much at least.
“It wasn’t Justin that I cheated on” I say, pausing to take in a breath before continuing, “I cheated on my ex husband.”
