The Trial Of Lilith

On Trial

      I want to die. The words took over her thoughts until they no longer felt like her own; They stole every spare moment of her time and controlled her as if she were their prisoner. She looked down at the alleyway below, It was dark and the puddles in the mud glistened with the light of neon signs. Every night she would look out her window and decide if tonight was the night she would go through with it. She'd look at the moon and clear her mind, trying to push away the thought, it reminded her of herself. The moon has many faces, and in a way, she related to it, always showing different pieces of herself at different moments. She loved bathing in its silent impartial light it was relaxing to her. Tonight however, it was a new moon and the dark sky made her feel alone. Closing her eyes she shut her window disappointed the moon had failed her and turned to her bed. Lilith walked in front of the mirror and hated what she saw. She hated her white hair that ran to her shoulders, she hated how her grey eyes looked so soulless all the time. She quickly turned away and jumped into her bed directly behind her. As she lie there staring at her white ceiling, it reminded her of her old bed. The days when her room had stuff in it, she had posters, pictures of her and her friends, she had loved her old room. It was her safe place, the walls had color, it told her story. Her walls now were a plain white, and she had no poster or pictures. Her room--in a word-- was boring. The lights on the billboards outside her window illuminated her room giving it a faint glow and a streak of light across the floor. She saw something move in the corner of her eye, looking up with a jolt noticing a dark figure in the corner, it stood statuesque and impossible to miss in her boring room. It was far away from the light and was looking directly at her. Lilith scurried to the corner of her bed furthest away from that, thing.

"Hello" It said calmly. Lilith remained silent afraid to speak, as if it would give her away to the eyeless shadow. "The silent type? Would it make you feel better to know I'm not here to hurt you? Now you may find that it's not wrong. Although if it comes to it, I will," it said reassuringly with a grin showing a white row of teeth that glowed on its pitch black body, "I am however straying from the point. I am here to convince you to hurt yourself", it said plainly with a wide grin pointing at her

"Is that supposed to make me feel safer?" Lilith asked shifting in her bed

"No, it was to get you to speak to me. It worked"

"Fine." Lilith said frustrated about being tricked "But first, what are you, where are your eyes, why won't you step into the light where I can see you?"

The shadow's head tilted down examining the stream of light coming from outside. After a long moment it finally looked up and ignored the request

"I don't have eyes because I don't need to see. Simply put, the things I've seen have been quite enough for me. I don't want to see. Are you jealous I don't have to look myself in the mirror?" It motioned towards the mirror with a grin. "It's perfectly natural for you to not recognize me" It admitted " all you need to know is that you created me. I am your sin, your negativity made incarnate. I don't mean to bore you with the fancy details, but here I am."

"Wait, so you're made of everything I've done wrong?" Lilith asked, her breathing getting faster.

"Yes" It confirmed, "And I think it would be mutually beneficial if you jumped out that window tonight."

"Why? What do you gain?" Lilith retorted shocked at the idea. But why was she? She thought about doing it each night. But when she did it was her choice to make, and now this shadow wanted her to do it by intruding on her psyche.

"I gain death," It said simply, "I know every negative thought you've ever thunk. Quite the list you have. A smile wouldn't kill you ya know." It said with an edge in its voice, "I know every lie you have ever told, and I know every sin that your hands have committed". It said gesturing to her hands to emphasize its point.