Imagine your crush...

#11 Awful Thoughts

(I decide I'm gonna have a title name also instead of just a number.)

   CUTTING WARNING

So far today is awful. I'm failing all of my classes and that's because I've been so depressed and just recently started to cut. Not on my wrist but my thigh. I can't let my parents see them. They'd send me off, but it's (class) and I'm really having the need and all these thoughts running threw my head. Dumb. Loser. Slut. Whore. Idiot. Ugly. Fat. Lesbian.  And so many more, it's a list that never ends. I bite my finger and I have seven minutes till class starts. That's not enough time to get to the bathroom. Maybe I can go in that spot where there's no cameras, and that's right by class, yup that what I'll do. I push past people biting on my finger, harder with every person I past. Freak. Weirdo. Disgusting. I think of song lyrics to get my mind off of myself. A tear escaped and (c/n) looks at me with pity. I take the finger I was biting on and remove the salty water from my cheek. I look away, I shouldn't of, it shows weakness and that's the last thing I want. I finally get to the corner and take my case off of my device. And take the sticky note that's folded in half with my locker combination and unfold it. I see the small blade, place it on my wrist. If I can get away with dyeing a strip of my hair, I can get away with a few cuts on my wrist. There's make up. I push the blade into my skin and drag it only about an inch and watch the cut go white then slowly go red, then it has a red tear on top. I do this again until I hear foot steps, I quickly pull down my sleeve and put the razor into the case but not in the stick note. Fuck, it's (c/n), I don't wanna look like more of a freak to him.
"Hey what are you doing? Class starts in four minutes." (C/n) says
"Oh, just walking around." I pull a fake smile.
"Are you okay?" I nod not trusting my voice as a wave of tears hit me, but they don't fall, I don't allow it. "Don't lie, I know you aren't, just say it."
"H- help." The tears finally fall.
"Come here." He engulfs me into a hug and I cry. He pulls away and takes my hands "We can skip if you'd like."
"I-I would l-like that." He looks down then back up.
"Why?" I knew what he was talking about. "Please, why?"
"I need it, and deserve it, I wa-"
"Don't do it again." He pulls up my sleeves and checks them as silent tears roll down my cheek. "Is this all?"
"N-n-" I couldn't hurt him. It was meant for me to get hurt. Not him.
"Where." He locks his eyes with mine. My vision becomes blurry and I put one hand on my thigh to tell him. "Come on." He leads me out the school doors and we leave. We go to his house, not talking. He takes me up the stairs and opens a door that leads to a bathroom. He starts a bath and starts to remove my bottoms and underwear and lifts me up by my waist and puts my into the half filled tub. He removes my top and bra with no sexual intentions.
He ended up washing my hair, my wrist, thigh and face, non of the privet places. I'm currently wearing sweat pants and a hoodie of (c/n). We are cuddling and watching the movie Elf.
" I love you (y/n). Please try and not cut. I know it's hard but limit it. If you feel the need then cut me." I move so that we are both facing each other.
"I would never be able to do that to you. And I love you." And that's when I understood what he feels. I kissed him and we fell asleep in each others arms.

BLAHH CHEESYY but it's like 1 am and I have school!!!! Oops... I'm fucked but really the beginning is today other than the crush part and yeah, oh well!

Love you guys -  |-/