I'm losing. I'm losing myself. It's so tiring. I have to keep fighting and I keep making it out alive but I'm losing.
But she makes me stronger. Just the thought of her can scare some of the shadows away. I want to be brave so she doesn't have to be. I have to protect her. I can't let her see that I'm falling apart.
I can still see the faint scar of where I cut, but I wrote her name there in pen to remember why I'm fighting.
I hate feeling helpless and hopeless
I can't fall asleep until after midnight and then I get sleep deprived and it makes everything worse. Or when I do go to sleep at a reasonable time, it's usually because I have a migraine or I cried myself to sleep.
I'm okay usually, or I can at least act okay, but then I break down in the middle of the night and end up texting you
I'm sorry you have to put up with me. I'm sorry for all this.
Sorry
I hope this doesn't ruin your day.
Just forget this.
I'm fine.
