Secrets Of A Sophomore

chapter 2

As we walk along the narrow sidewalks and far too busy streets in our small town I look around and see that I am the only person walking as fast as I am, everyone else is a few yards behind me talking and joking around so i slow my own pace to match theirs and join in casually. As per usual no one notices me slipping in because the brown haired girl I've come to know as Alex teasing the other guy in the group. 'ugh... they should stop all that' i think as i look forward to see that we are almost to the main part of town already. " Anybody want to stop and get anything before we get there?" I say which starts a small argument about whether we should get a pizza or a bucket of chicken " So we are stopping the? Okay. We will get both, the chicken and the pizza, so everybody quit bickering." I say with a slight chuckle.

When we arrive we see a woman across the street and I cautiously approach her when I reach her I see a boy I presume to be her son. Both are wearing layers of clothing without much regard for what matches and what doesn't "Why are you two out here?" I ask clearly knowing they must not have anywhere to stay. "Oh nothing, nothing"says the boys mother, "Yeah, we were just walking around" says the boy who is now more clearly recognizable as being around eleven or twelve years old. I come back with a poor and sort of rude unplanned response. " Are you sure? You both look like you haven't eaten in weeks." I say and immediately scold myself internally "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... that was so rude of me. Here just take this as my apology." I say holding out an almost full bucket of chicken to them "No I'm sorry that's even worse, I'm sorry ill just go." 'God what's wrong with me?' I think as i spin around quickly to get away from of the situation.

I stare at the ground as I walk swiftly back toward the mixed group of old and new friends. I look up and see that I am still around two or three hundred yards away from the group. 'Did I really walk that far away, I hope nobody noticed that I was gone?' I think as i burn through the distance at a steadily increasing rate, almost to the point where I am running. As I close in on the small pavilions of our little park i hit something that is soft at first and then as hard as a brick wall. "Ow! Watch where you're going next time Max." I hear a familiar voice say, " Are you okay?" I say as I re-open my eyes that were reflexively closed during the fall. As soon as I see who I've just toppled over I instantaneously blush. " Um, I-I'm sorry Alex." I quickly get up scrambling to help her up "It's okay just watch where you're going next time." she says while laughing slightly. "Just what were you running from anyway?" I respond by telling her about my encounter with the homeless woman and her son and she listens intently and seems to truly care. 'Wow, beautiful and caring, she's more amazing than I thought' I begin to think. The next thing that happens catches me completely off-guard. Even though it isn't much she hugs me tightly and says something i don't expect from her but I guess in the little time I've shared with her I should have learned to never expect anything and always expect the unexpected with her. "I'm really sorry Max,everything will be alright, lets go back and bring them the chicken that didn't get dumped when you pummeled me.

Alex and I bring the bucket to the homeless pair and I feel more calm this time. More in control of myself, my actions, my... everything.

When we arrive back at the park everyone else is gone off on their own. As I look around to see who could be nearby I see the pizza box from earlier lying on one of the tabled benches under the small pavilion area nearby. While continuing to search for any signs of life from the desolate playground and surrounding areas used for various sports I begin to talk to Alex about all of the intricacies of life and love and in the process, I realize that's what I'm falling into. We continue walking for what I presume to be an hour or more but I never look directly at Alex during this time I only catch glimpses of her eyes that are drowned out by the faint reflected moonlight that still peers out from behind the slow moving and dreary overcast clouds. "Hey Alex, wanna hang out some time tomorrow?" I ask with a hint of hidden intent. "Uh, sure, where at?" She asks with a slightly nervous tone in her voice. "How about we just meet up here and I'll surprised you?" I reply earnestly, she quickly nods yes and we

We continue walking for a little more than half an hour but the way I perceive things makes it seem like ages. When we finally stop walking we settle down under a small tree on a little green blanket and two small throw pillows of the same color that the group must have left.

We sit there for a while in silence as I wait for her to speak but only come to realize she's not even looking around anymore. I look to see what has stolen her gaze and see the second most beautiful thing I've seen all night. Through the loose branches of the mostly leafless tree there is a large opening in the sky, a hole in the clouds, acting as a window to the heavens that is not to be passed through but merely observed in all of its beauty.

When I look down from the beautiful sight I see something I had not expected to see. When I look over to peer at Alex once more I do not see her innocently staring at the stars, I don't see her at all. The girl I've spent the last few hours with and gotten to know better than most others in that time, and she is gone. Instead of her I am greeted with an entirely different face. "Where's Alex? Where'd she go!" I ask as the fact that the girl who I had just set up a date with has vanished only to be replaced by a very familiar but very different face. "Woah slow down Maxwell. Who is Alex anyway and why do you want to see her so bad anyway!" The girl says in a seemingly agitated and maybe eben jealous tone but i dont care at this point because i only want to find the girl who i spent the night talking to and finally being able to just be myself around after so long of hiding away everything that made me human.

"Tell me. Please." I beg and in response I hear her say the most insane thing I have ever heard in my entire life. "I would if I could Max but I just don't know who she is, I'm sorry. Oh, and you can cancel our plans for tomorrow." She says with a genuine sadness on her face.

"Wait what do you mean OUR plans. I made plans with Alex just a little while ago. I was going to take her out for Italian and do a few other things with HER you left with everybody else. How did you even know about that?" I mutter just loud enough for her to hear. "I MEAN YOU MADE THOSE PLANS WITH ME NOT THIS ALEX GIRL! WHO IS SHE ANYWAY? HUH? I THOUGHT YOU KIND OF LIKED ME MAXWELL, WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO THAT!" She screams and that's what sets it all off. It all hits me like a bullet, it was her, I like her. I look at the girl who is moments away from slipping out of my grasp and I see that it was her this whole time. "Wait!" I plead. "Just, wait, please. I'm sorry okay. I do like you. Very much in fact and I was afraid to and that led me to not want to at all, it made me make up this fake persona that i could fall for instead and I didn't even know I did it and I wish I hadn't and. I'm sorry for that. I don't want to hurt you, I'm just scared that I'm the one who will get hurt." I'm speaking so quickly that I can't even keep up with what I'm saying and I'm gasping for air by the end but I'm not sure if that's from talking without a hand to breathe or if it's from telling her all of this but I don't care, I don't care as long as she knows that I care for her. "It's okay, but I just don't think this could work. Even if you still thought I was her. And just so you know we may have just been friends but i think i may have cared for you too at one time."