PruCan: When I was Invisible

CHAPTER TWO: Texting is Terrifying

One Week and Two Days

"Why can't I just drop out? I can be home-schooled... It'd be easier..."

"Mon dieu, if we're going to start each day like this Mathieu, I'm going to get gray hairs from stress!!" Papa Francis exclaimed, ripping the warm bed-sheets off of me.

I groaned and mumbled something incoherent while he opened up the blinds, the sunlight blinding me and making me bury my face in my pillow... before reluctantly turning my head and letting my eyes adjust to the light.

"Sorry Papa... I just-"

"Hate school, I know. Mathieu, I'd like to say you can be home-schooled, but you need the experience of friends!! But if you really can't handle it, then we'll take you out after the first semester. At least try to be more social, we've already gotten a call from one of your teachers... and this is still only the first couple of weeks of school," he sighed and sat on the corner of my bed, giving me a small smile.

I gave him the best smile I could and propped myself up, faking a yawn and a stretch and telling him I would be down in just a few minutes. He gave me a final grin then proceeded out the door, yelling something to Papa Arthur as he did so. As soon as he left the room, I let my body fall back on my bed and groaned again.

"Another day of torture. Oh boy," I breathed out. I knew it was only a week and a couple of days into school, but I was already tired of it. Sure, maybe school is for learning and for 'helping you with your future', but it would be just as easy- in fact much easier- to learn everything by yourself, locked up in your own room, not having to deal with any interactions with people you probably wouldn't remember the names of on your death bed.

But hooray. This was just what I had to put up with. Social anxiety, depression, and the world that causes it.

Ignoring the bad thoughts creeping back to my head, I finally stood up, got dressed, and left my room. Ready to start another dreadful fay.

~<^>~<^>~<^>~

I completely lost track of time throughout the day. Already I was getting used to the routine of going from one class to another, and it wasn't hard to find my way to each next room because of Gilbert talking and walking beside me.

I was grateful that he was able to talk to me as if I were his good friend already, but I myself had no idea what to say back. All I could do was keep walking, smiling and nodding every once in a while. I wasn't accustomed to this, unless it were my brother talking with me.

Friends weren't ever friends for me before. They were either acquaintances or strangers. The only 'friend' I really had was Al, my parents just being my parents really. I never  really was in touch with anyone else but my family, and no one really cared.

So having Gilbert talk to me as casually as my brother does confused me and made me wonder why he would be so interested in speaking with me. Although, I also knew that this probably wasn't the case, and I just so happened to be the first person he'd met here at this school, so he was more 'comfortable' with speaking to me.

I didn't understand this either, because I knew I wasn't the type people would feel comfortable simply speaking to. I do admit, yes, I'm an excellent listener since I can't bring myself to speak a word myself, but I was always uncomfortable, and others could easily see right through my fake sympathy if they confided in me.

It wasn't like I didn't try to feel sympathy for them. It was just I didn't really know how to have sympathy on myself. I never really did, and eventually this lead to me practically being a walking numb mannequin. You could position me however you'd like, and I'd comply, but I'd never have a true expression on my face.