Boundless

Chapter 26

By October, the Hull Gang had stopped their crime spree across the west. About that time was when everyone stopped talking about them, as well. Even Katerine had moved on. I was moving on too.

It had been almost five months since I’d last seen or heard from Sam and I was slowly starting to forget things about him. It was hard to pinpoint the exact blue of his eyes or the blond of his hair, I struggled to remember just how tall he stood over me or how hearing his voice made me feel.

Ezra, on the other hand, was vivid. When he wasn’t with me, I could see the flecks of green in his eyes and feel his hand on mine. I woke up every morning looking forward to his visit and spent every afternoon wanting him to visit again. The most reassuring thing was knowing that he was going to knock on my door at the same time every morning without fail. I was absolutely positive that he wasn’t going to disappear for five months.

Jenny was indifferent to Ezra. She wouldn’t speak to him very long when he visited, sometimes she didn’t talk to him at all. I tried to draw her into conversations but it seemed to drive her further away from him. To me, it seemed slightly unfair. I was always happy to see Charlie and say hello to him on the street. Why couldn’t she do the same for me?

One night, as we were sitting in the parlor, she finally spoke up. “Rebecca,” she asked in a weary voice, “what are you doing?”

“I’m repeeling these potatoes, your work is awful.”

She didn’t laugh or smile. “No, not the potatoes, you. What are you doing with Ezra?” It had been a long time since I’d heard her this exasperated. “Have you told him about Sam yet? Or are you?”

 “Jenny–”

“No, listen. You are stringing him along and it’s not right. You either need to tell him everything or break things off. One day, it may be today, it may be tomorrow, or it may be twenty years from now, you’re going to have a reckoning. You’re going to have to make a decision that you won’t want to and, frankly, aren’t ready for.”

“Sam’s not coming back, Jenny. He’s off living his life in a different world than mine. He’s moved on. I understand that and am trying to cope with it as best I can.”

She slammed her book down onto her chair arm and glared at me. “I don’t think you understand anything. I think you understand what’s best for you and your interests. I know why you started seeing him and I know why you’re continuing to. I don’t need the operation anymore, Rebecca, you just want to be the girl who Ezra Beverley is in love with. It’s not fair to him or Mother.”

I shot up from my chair. “Don’t you dare say that. Don’t you know Ezra represents one of the few constant things in my life? I can’t depend on anything. Sam promised he would come back but it’s been six months and there’s no word from him, just some headlines in the newspaper. And you. Your health fluctuates up and down. I don’t know if one morning I’m going to wake up to you dead. On top of that, ever since Charlie started coming around, you’ve been spending all your time with him. When you do decide to speak to me, it’s about him. It’s as if you don’t even care about me anymore.”

I was emotionally spend. I had no more tears to shed or words to shout. All I could do was sit with my face in my hands.

“Oh, Rebecca.” I felt Jenny stand next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. “You can depend on me. I’ll always be here with you, no matter what happens.” When I looked up, she was smiling at me.

“I’m so sorry if the things I said sounded cruel, but I had been wanting to say them for a long time. I’ve always envied your ability to speak your mind without fear.”

“I love you, Jenny. Never leave me.”

“Never.”

I laid in bed that night thinking about the things Jenny had said, and I couldn’t help but disagree. Sam had made his choice and I was making mine