Thoughts

What I Wish

I see the pain of many around me that i hold close to my already dead heart and all i want to do is to take away all their pain to see them have the happiness i doubt i will ever have. Many worry about me and what will happen to me when i die i personally want to wander the earth with the reaper to see how life is taken so other bits of it may go on. But in the time i am still here on this earth before his steel comes to take me, i would love to have the one thing Ive never truly known and be able to say i have a family. One that isn't so fucked up that the baby of it wants to die everyday and suffers to seem happy but fails and gives up showing the full despair that consumes him daily to where he keeps himself reserved from himself. Or hear that my daughter is so angry at me that she goes to the arms of someone that is simply using her for his own personal conquest. I also hate to see the suffering that my own mother goes though to just be able to give me what she didn't have when she doesn't understand all i want is for her to be happy and to leave the fuck shes with since he doesn't seem to be helping. I would gladly fight him again and make sure he doesn't come back from it if he dares fucking touch her once more i don't care if there is hate in my heart towards her and my sisters no one touches those three without having me as their judge jury and most likely executioner. All must pay for what they did but it seems like some of us also have to pay for the sins of others if only we could each find our own piece of paradise and cherish our time there before we are ripped back into the harshness of real life again.