Becky Diaries

Wednesday Day 3: Confessions With No Directions

In high school there are lots social statuses. Some including the jocks, the preps, the hipsters, the nerds, the wanna bees, the worker ants, and most importantly the queen bee herself. When thinking about myself in St. Mary's I don't know where I stand. I honestly feel like the outsider. The girl that doesn't know what to call herself. One floats around and talks to lots of different people but doesn't have a category. Lost with no direction. One is vulnerable because if anyone invited one to that group one would accept it under any circumstances. I am the outsider.

In the first week of school at St. Mary's no one knew who I was or where I came from. At first being the new blonde fishy in a new big sea I received a lot of attention. In fact a little too much if you ask me. Though, I loved being wanted, talked about through out the hallways, or the topic at the lunch table. I wouldn't consider myself being a selfish bitch for wanting attention. Being the new girl at first everybody just notices you and stares. But once at least two and half weeks go by I was for sure talked about (that I was aware of). For two and half weeks eating lunch, walking to class alone, and basically the most small talk you made was "hey can I have a pencil?" I was surely thrilled to be 'talked about'. I thought I was having a sense of direction of where I might end up. But at the same time wasn't sure where I was going. Correction where I am going now.

Even when Becky showed up yesterday my whole sense of direction was definitely thrown off course. I felt like my world was a broken compass and I am the spinning arrow that is panicking because my world just fell apart. I felt like I had the direction of being accepted of everyone until Becky showed up. Her showing up in the middle of no where has brought something to my mind. Becky did move a lot growing up from 5th grade till now, but why would she leave her perfect life in Miami and come back to the city? There has to be secrets and scandals behind this madness.

Was Becky being scared of acceptance? Or maybe she was scared being insecure always being around new people? OHH or maybe there was always a scandal that occurred that is why she likes to hop around like no tomorrow?

Becky is the type of girl that really likes you or really doesn't. I heard rumors that she wouldn't treat everyone in Miami like a piece of road kill ran over ten times. Maybe everyone revolted against Becky and ordered her to leave. Then Becky feeling left out made her uncomfortable and left for the city then.

Another theory is that I heard from a very reliable source that Becky slept with two professors to receive A's in their classes. Double the trouble, so therefore maybe that's why she left for the city then?

Becky just picking up and leaving everything in Miami is impossible. Not just Miami but everywhere she went picking up and leaving everything with no problem. How could one just leave everything behind? Her disappearances and comings are very unexpected. It's like every one is just waiting for Becky to make the next move. There has to be more to this reason than just plan education. In fact Becky's Florida school ranked number 1 in the south east. Like mega impressive. I need to solve this mystery...?

well until tomorrow,

xoxo becky