“I miss the call and texts you’ve made. The conversation we’ve shared. Your voice that made me smile each day. I wondered what had happened to us, is it because of her? I will MISS YOU. I surely will.”
PAIN
That is the only thing I can feel right at this moment.
PAIN
After leaving me this is the only thing you’ve left behind.
PAIN
The best word to describe where I am right now.
I AM IN PAIN
I remember you saying this line to me “You are the only one I texted when I changed my number coz your number is the only one I memorized” my heart skipped a beat upon hearing those words from you but one question formed in my mind “Are you serious or are you just playing with me?”
I have never erased your text messages in my phone same as your phone calls. I treasured every single detail about you maybe because it will be the last.
Everytime I read our conversation all I want to do is to cry, to cry my heart out and to burst into tears, but I can’t because I am so tired of it. Tired of crying every second to express what I feel. They say that when you cry you will feel better, but not me cause everytime I cry all I remember is you. Your memories. And it kills me. It kills me thinking of you over and over again.
I thought that we were the best for each other, that we are meant. But for the record I was wrong again because that is only the thing I think about.
YOU ARE PERFECT
Handsome, Kind, Intelligent: Every girls fantasy. The guy who I dreamt about. Who would not fall for a guy like you?
But from the very beginning I was wrong because there is no such thing as perfect.
I wondered “Do you really left me or I am just over reacting?”
Maybe if someone ask you what is going on between us you would simply say that it is nothing, but for me it is everything.
YOU ARE EVERYTHING
Maybe all the things that happened to us is only nothing to you.
I am so dumb to make myself believe that we are ‘something’ but the truth is were not.
And then SHE came. Everything about us (if there are any) has ended. Texts, calls and even personal conversations, everything. Nothing is left. Everytime you ignore me as if I did not exist, all I feel is PAIN and it means only one thing, I AM NOTHING TO YOU.
Until one day I heard that the both of you are officially on, it sucks. And it hit me. If you really love me the way you love her you should have also court me the way you did to her,but you didn't.
I tried to move on and go on with my life just like before but it’s very hard for me to do so. Memories keep flashing back in my mind. I pretended to be happy, to show the world that I am okay. I kept on telling everybody that I am fine even if the truth is I am not. How could they believe such lie? Don’t they know how much it hurts seeing the person you love loving someone else? It hurts. It hurts to the point that I want to die.
But what can I do? I can’t blame you for not loving me back and I can’t blame myself for loving you. I don’t regret loving you. Maybe it is time for me to move on. To finally let you go even if it hurts like hell. I will MISS YOU. I surely will.
I know that it is too much for me to say these words but I want you to know that I LOVE YOU eventhough you’ve left me hanging I still love you and I will always do.
~~END~~
