I'm At War With My Mate

Never Means Forever

**Kendall's P.O.V**

I watched as his car vanished out of my sight. The ache in my chest getting worse and worse, feeling like he ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.

I sighed, and my mind wandered to back when i was a child and my mother actually cared, whenever i would sigh she would lovingly ruffle my hair before she would playfully scold me, "Kendall Victoria LeRoux, what have i told you about sighing?"

I would bite my tongue to hold back another sigh, "It is unsightly and unbecoming in a young lady." I would recite.

"And?" My mother would raise an eyebrow, feigning annoyance.

"And you lose a bit of your soul every time." My eyes would get bigger and I would cover my mouth with my hand and sometimes even cry whenever i remembered.

I was pulled out of my head by a shiver that went down my spine created by the cold that seemed to seep into my skin and embrace my bones. A bitter smile crept onto my lips, turning into a full blown grin, which then turned into an inhuman chuckle, finally i was cackling hysterically. Until the cackle turned to a bone shattering sob, i fell to my hands and knees sobbing. Just another set of bones to lay to rest.

This love was out of control tell me, where did it go? I lay there, on the side of the road, broken and beaten down to nothing but a frightened, lonely, and miserable little girl that nobody wants and ends up leaving.

I managed to crawl into the woods that bordered the highway, i crawled until the trees got denser and the twigs and brambles scratched and cut my skin more often. Something told me to get up off my hands and knees and to run. Run.

So i did.

I ran in a straight line, ignoring the scratches i was getting all over my body. I suddenly came to a clearing, all the noises of the birds and insects suddenly dyeing down to silence. i looked at the waterfall to my left that was kicking up spray, the white foam floating on the top, the water was sparkling in the sun like a million stars.

Green, the water was green just like his eyes, sparkling mischievously just like his eyes, mysterious and deep in an unnerving kind of way just like his eyes.

I screwed my eyes closed and felt the stream of tears come back, flowing like a river down my face. Drowning me.

But I will soon forget the color of your eyes and you'll forget mine. I remembered his face clearly, his somewhat crooked nose that he claims he got in fight, his high cheekbones and his strong jaw, his bone structure perfect, his plump pink lips that always left me in limbo, his eyelashes that almost caused a gust of wind with every blink. His eyes that were once so astonishing in color and the emotion that was brewing just beneath that impenetrable surface, were now a dull green.

I opened my eyes in fright, his face slipping from behind my eyelids. I looked back over at the waterfall and saw a dull grey-green color. No, no, no, i can't loose him and all of my memories of him. The tears overflowed again. I blinked them away. I won't forget. I wont forget. I. Wont. Forget.

What about us well, what about me? My feet moved without my consent until i stood in the middle of one of the patches that dotted the field with blood red tulips. I collapsed to my knees and lay on the soft, satiny petals.

A gut wrenching pain swept through my body, leaving me gasping and clawing at the beautiful flowers. Once the pain subsided i was left with a burning sensation and a fistful full of torn up red tulips, except for my left hand which held one single blood red rose.

I sat up, letting my black curly hair fall in my face, ignoring the burning that still hadn't gone away. I looked down at the flower in my left hand and wondered how it wasn't torn up and how it got lost among the tulips.