Under the Mistletoe~A Malec Fanfiction

I Gave You My Heart

~I got the video from the show Glee~

"Alec, Alec wake up!" Shouts Max Lightwood to his elder brother.  "It's Christmas!" He shouts.  Alec gets out of bed with a smile.  He dutifully lets Max lead him into the library where the large tree has a mountain of presents underneath it.  Max squeals in glee.  Clary and Jace sit on the floor in front of the fire.  Simon and Isabelle sit curled up on the love seat.  Alec looks around the room, searching for Magnus, when the tall form of a man in a red and white bathrobe and santa hat jumps out from behind the tinsel-covered tree, causing Alec to choke on his hot chocolate.  Next thing he knows, he is wrapped in his lovers warm embrace.  

"Merry Christmas Sweet Pea." Says Magnus.

"Merry Christmas." Alec whispers back.  Magnus nods to the ceiling where mistletoe is magically growing.  Before Alec gets the chance to look back down, his lover catches his mouth in a hot, warm kiss.  His hands explore Alec's body curiously, finally coming to rest on his waist.  Then Magnus pulls away harshly, "I'm gone now." He says roughly and he disintegrates into a pile of black coal and embers.  The sparks of a romance that used to be a flame. 

                                                                                           ~~~

Alec bolted up in his bed, the salty stiffness of tears left over on his face.  He looks to the empty void next to him where his lover should be.  Instead, the sheets still lay perfectly made and untouched and had remained so since Magnus left him two years ago.  At that thought, Alec's heart shattered into a million pieces.  He grabs at his chest trying to kill the agonizing pain of the harsh memories that came with remembering his ex-boyfriend like a thousand stabbing paper cuts.  He gasps out a breath, not realizing he was holding it in.  I did something wrong, he thinks, I did something to deserve this pain that won't go away no matter how hard I try to distract myself.  Still, part of him longs for the perfect family depicted in the dream.  He longed for the sense of normalcy, the sense that everything was alright.  Instead, his younger sister Isabelle's long, racking sobs carried into his room.  The Shadowhunter rolls out of bed, puts on some ratty slippers, and steps out into the sterile, silent halls of the New York Institute.    He follows his sister's sobs until they are at their loudest: outside Max's room.  Alec turns into the room and walks up behind the broken down form of his sister, weeping over the race car bed his brother used to sleep in every night.

"Izzy," Alec starts.

"Last Christmas, Max was here," she sobs, putting her head into her hands, "and it's all my fault he's gone.  All my fault." She sobs even louder.

"It's not your fault, that blond bastard Sebastian killed him because he knew it would get to you." Alec says angrily.  He's better off dead anyway, he thought.  It is not until he approaches his sister when he notices the knife she is gripping in her hands with a white-knuckle grip.

"Izzy," He says in alarm, "Don't do this!"

"How do you do it?" She asks in response.  "Not fall apart over all the times you fucked up."  Alec had never heard his sister speak like this before and it scared him.  "After Magnus left, you acted like you weren't even phased by it."

"By the Angel, Iz, I fell apart in my room every day after he left and I still do now." He responded in a pained voice.

"But you always seemed so strong." She responds, the knife point digging into her skin, but not drawing blood.

"I'm not.  I'm not okay!  I am the exact opposite of okay!" He says angrily, kicking one of Max's toy trucks across the room.  "I still cry every night.  I wake up early every morning because of the nightmares!  You have no clue what it's like to lose the two people you love within a month.  I wanted to kill myself, but I convinced myself that I needed to be there for you, and so I put on a brave face. But I'm still hurting inside!  I am a broken man with a broken sister and that's all.  You are all I have so don't fuck up.  If I lose you, nothing will tether me to this Earth.  Without my family, I might as well be dead!"  He shouts, tears streaming down his face, then,

"I wish Max was here," Izzy whimpers.

"Me too," Alec cries and joins Izzy as she drops the knife and weeps over their dead brother's bed.