sunrise [until dawn]

vii: selfishness

* the scenes between mike and matt as well as jess and em are still going to occur but i wanted to change up the dialogue because i want maggie to get involved and also because im too lazy to pull up a proper walkthrough *

—

By the time I pull myself together, it appears as if no one noticed I was gone. As I re-entered the sitting room, Josh and Matt were tending to the fire, Ashley and Chris were sat at the bay window, and Sam was God knows where.

"Hey party people," Mike saunter in.

"Hey," Jess steps in close behind.

Bile rises in my throat at the sight of Mike. He and I weren't on the greatest of terms the last time we spoke. After all, he had lured Hannah into the guest bedroom. He had tricked her into thinking he wanted intimacy. He had used her greatest flaw, her naivety, against her. The asshole. I don't think I could ever forgive him.

Matt's words chimed throughout my head again.

Put aside the anger. Forgive and forget.

It was easier said than done. Sure, I had "made up" with Jess and Ashley, and pardoned Matt of all wrongdoings. Only because I didn't want the weekend to be awkward. Who was I kidding? These people Matt was pleading for me to forgive were the ones who chased Hannah into the woods that night. Who didn't go after her and let Beth. Who got them kidnapped or worse.

No, I thought to myself, You need to stop this. These people are — were — your friends. You have to try.

I bite my tongue and force a smile onto my face as Mike walks in, Jess toting behind.

"Take a seat, take whatever you want," Matt spits, "I mean, you take whatever you want anyway, right?"

So much for "Put aside the anger" and "forgive and forget."

"Woah, man," Mike puts up his hand, "I thought things were cool between us."

Obviously not, Mike.

"What were you doing with Emily out on the trail?"

All motion in the room freezes. Josh stops tending to the fire, Ashley and Chris retreat from the window and over closer to us, and I just stand glued to my spot.

"We sort of ran into each other," Mike defends, "It had been a while, so we hugged. Is that a crime?"

All of us wait for Matt to make a move.

"No," Matt shakes his head, although there is still some bite to his voice, "It's alright. My bad. The cold must be getting to me."

Mike flashes a smile before retreating to the couch and snacking Jess' ass.

"Are you trying to swallow his face whole?" A familiar voices echoes throughout the room, "I mean seriously, can she be any more obviously?"

I know who's nauseating voice that is. It's Emily's.

"I guess someone's bitter that she didn't make the cut," Jess laughs, standing up to get on Emily's level.

Josh shifts uncomfortably from one foot to another, begging us with his eyes to step in between them.

"Yes, I'm so bitter about losing Mike, can you tell? I'm so bitter that I have a total hottie over Mike's ass. You got me!"

"Sure seemed like it when you were whoring around with my boyfriend in the woods."

Emily's laughter cuts through the silence, "Whoring around? You must think so lowly of me. Trust me, sweetie, if I wanted Mike, I would to be a deceiving bitch about it and hook up with him while he's in a relationship. Like someone else did."

"Does it really matter?" I interject, answering Josh's silent pleading, "You're both in loving, committed relationships. You're both happy! Just forgive and forget."

"I will never forgive my slutty ex-best friend, who was my boyfriend's rebound," Emily spit.

Something inside of me cracks. I'm not sure if it's the fact that I absolutely despise Emily. I'm not sure if it's because I'm freezing my ass off and even more irritable than usual. I'm not sure if it's that I'm done with letting others being walked all over. All I know is the hurricane of anger is about to be released.

"Oh, grow the fuck up, Emily," I hiss, earning gasps from everyone in the room, "Are you really that self absorbed that you are, once again, making everything about you?"

Her jaw drops, and the look of it brings me some sort of sadistic pleasure.

"News flash, sweetie," I continue, pointing a finger at her, "This weekend isn't about you. It's not about your problems. We're here to support Josh. This is about him. Not you. So get the fuck over yourself, stop acting like a ten year old who holds a grudge over a stupid boy, and actually try being a good friend for once. Maybe if you had been a good friend to Hannah, and talked to her about her crush on your boyfriend instead of pulling the bitchiest move in the book, none of this shit would have happened."

I plop down on the couch and fold my arms, bathing in the states of my friends.

"You know what?" Emily laughs, "Fuck-"

"Stop!"

Josh throws a log into the fire and glares at us.

"This is not what this weekend was supposed to be about," he growls, "This is not helping."

A feeling of regret washes over me. I had done the opposite of forgive and forget. I had just started an argument with someone I had a grudge for in the name of Josh. It was selfish of me.

"Mike," Josh massages his temples, "Why don't you take Jess to the cabin in the woods, the one I told you about?"

"Anything to get away from that whore," Jess grips Mike's hand and pulls him outside.

"I'm going upstairs," I half-heartedly say, standing up and waking up the large stairs in the center of the room.

I can't believe I did that.

—

Josh: 6/10
Chris: 10/10
Ashley: 7/10
Sam: 10/10
Jess: 5/10
Mike: 5/10
Matt: 5/10
Emily: 0/10

Honest: 10/10
Charitable: 7/10
Funny: 6/10
Brave: 6/10
Romantic: 7/10
Curious: 7/10